Floyd Landis

Floyd Landis accomplished something amazing, regardless of a little testosterone imbalance in his system, the man rocked the Alps. Maybe, as he speculated, the Floydilator did have one Wild Turkey too many the night before his historic effort...

Then there's Lance Bass, a man with a testosterone imbalance of a different kind who rocked...well, maybe rocked is the wrong word. Upon reflection, was there really any doubt why Lance imbued the label, "boy band" with a whole new meaning...just check out the fella's Google images.
Rock on brothers!
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Why Wi-Fi

Trying to go Wi-Fi with our two Macs. One step forward, two steps back...sort of like watching network television or listening to Lou Dobbs. On a more positive note...gotta get to the track. Saratoga opened yesterday and I watched some of the action while I struggled with technology. "Toga" is the queen of all thoroughbred racetracks and I mean old-school queen...not some guy wearing his grandma's underoos. I feel the urge to play some crazy trifecta wheel and lose the mortgage money. Anybody see Condie Rice touring the Middle East? Condo looks like a grammar school principal trying to come to grips with some unruly special ed kids...ain't gonna happen and there's no viable solution... just change the Ann Taylor suit and move on...I think it's time for G.W. to do some of that "talk with your mouth full of pilaf" diplomacy he is so good at, or rub Syrian Prez Assad's neck or nether regions...whatever it takes.
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AEOWOLF ONLINE

Click on my new renter, AEOWOLF ONLINE, for witty blather with a U.K. twist...he even has our tasteful color scheme. What's not to like?
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Hot or Not

That's hot!
Manny being Manny
Stephen Colbert
Izze
Scarlet Johansson
Rescue Me
Rock Star Super Nova
Starlight Mints
Angelina Jolie
Keith Olbermann
Jens Lekman
Deadwood

and Not
Condoleezza Rice
America's Got Talent
Paris Hilton
Dick Cheney
Warren Buffet
Jimmy Buffet
Entourage
Dave Matthews
Jewel
Puff Daddy
The O'Reilly Factor

It's Probably Just Gas....

America is heading down the tubes, circling the bowl like the digested remains of a chicken parm hero. A nation that repeats the same misbegotten mistakes over an over. We re-elect a president who can't spell, speak or control his grabby-hands, who's intent on getting us all killed to support his misguided interpretation of neo-conservative gobbly-gook and the lords will. We watch films about ambiguously gendered pirates...over and over again. We keep listening to the same country western songs and melodies for decades (just change the haircuts). See that Congressman with 100 grand in his fridge...well his constituency has elected him to office over and over again like an abused spouse who keeps coming back for another slap in the face. Pop stars are disposable commodities and one of the worst symptoms of our demise...making millions upon millions of dollars for reputations and performances born of the rancid combination of dubious behavior and porto-san talent. We keep stuffing our paychecks into the gaspumps of oil companies who make a product that will ultimately melt our Dove Bars as well as bake our Alaskas (sorry). I'm tired...spent and have to get back to watching Rock Star Super Nova...later...
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The Devil...

Lost one of those "well you pick the movie" deals and as a result got to see "The Devil Wears Prada". The old standby, "chick flick", sprang to mind as I strode up Third Ave. resigned to my impending metrosexual experience. I wasn't to be disappointed. Starring Meryl Streep, (always good) who was presented a batting practice meatball with this role, the bug eyed Anne Hathaway, the guy from Entourage and Stanley Tucci, who appeared to be channeling both Carson Kressley and Coco Chanel, the film turned out to be formulaic, predictable and underwrtten. I have worked with and for folks in the magazine publishing arena and can attest to the shallow, catty, and superficial set of office guidelines by which they operate. This film touches on the dark side only to make the light side all the brighter...a life lesson and happy pill for the fashion-forward types and unlike its sister in crime, Sex in the City, everything turns out great in the end...Now I guess I'll go out and get a Dolce & Gabbana man-bag to finish this ensemble I'm working on...
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G.W. Bush...my man...

George Bush is doing his best Ed Norton (Honeymooners) imitation at the G8 Conference. First he gets caught on tape talking trash and going potty-mouth with Tony Blair, working the room with a gaping mouthful of sauerbrauten and needing only a wife-beater t-shirt with a beer stain on his chest to cement his position in the American Barcalounging Hall of Fame. Then he cops a feel on the German Prime Minister to complete his trailer-trash trifecta. My man.
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Little Men...

Haven't had time to post for the last few days. In the interim the Red Sox have lost a few and New York is alive with Yankee enthusiasm which means doormen are waiting to bust my chops all over town...think I'll stay in.

On the global political front, all hell is breaking out in the Middle East. Like any hate-filled relationship both sides know how to push each other's buttons and/or over-react and this thing is going to get worse before it gets better. Hezbollah is lighting the fuse on this and should get its ass kicked both militarily and politically but Israel has to refrain from kicking the crap out of Lebanon's infrastucture. Lebanon needs to be groomed as an innocent bystander in this deal. The current Israili government is trying to fight its dovish image by putting the pedal to the metal militarily....

Pop culture...Paris Hilton has a record out...kill me now...my man, David Hasselhoff, is helping to destroy American culture with this "America Has Talent" atrocity...the 2, least-talented Wayan Brothers have a midget movie out and it did 20 mil at the box office this weekend and is an affront to wee-people everywhere and midget SAG members in particular.

More later...
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Miami Vice

The classic television franchise that was Miami Vice is being dragged through the sorted, remake muck and mire, by the very director that originally brought it to life, Michael Mann. You know the film is bad when they reference two of Mann's least entertaining films, Heat and the abominable Collateral in the promo. To further evicerate the golden memory of the original they have replaced the shiny, shallow insolence that was the 1980's Don Johnson with that sawed-off half-pint wannabe, Colin "Alexander the Ingrate" Farrell and the totally stiff non-actor, Philip Michael Thomas, with that overhyped, Oscar-fix-is-in, he can't carry Jim Carrey stained jockstrap, black angus, Jamie Foxx.
All they got left is the boat and some fancy lighting, sad.
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Zidane

What was up with that Zidane head butt (videolink)? I didn't catch the game but by all accounts Z screwed up in a royal fashion. Tie score...World Cup Final... his last game...heading for a shootout for which his participation is critical...melt-down=head butt. Great moment for soccer, nice cherry on the top of his career highlights reel and a nation goes in full blown depression...priceless. This sounds like something out of the crypt of the "86" Red Sox.
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Effluvia

Hilary Swank (seen in the accompanying photo running from her marriage) just outed her pathetic hubby, Rob Lowe's brother, what'shisname...oh Chad, for having an unspecified drug habit. It appears she needed some juice for a Vanity Fair article and has three movies in the can so why not throw her already barely unemployable, soon to be ex-hubby under the truck? There has to be some prettyboy singer out there just waiting for a Hollywood hook-up, so she shouldn't stay on the shelf too long...

Vladimir Putin is mad because he got called out for turning off the gas to his ungrateful neighbor and former vassel, the Ukraine. He nationalized his oil industry and now he wants to use market pricing and normal business prices as his excuse for using his vast oil and gas reserves for blackmail and extortion.

What's with the preponderance of people pathetically blogging about their health, medication and organ donor status...oh that was how I started this blog...sorry.
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Splooge

The North Koreans pump a couple of missiles into the Sea of Japan and we get all bent out of shape and enter into six-way talks and sanctions which might postively impact a sane leader but have the opposite effect intended on the Korean Michael Jackson who will eat caviar while his populace starves. Bush gets tough, the Korean people get even thinner, and Pol Pot or whatever his name is gets a new pair of Gucci shades and puffs his little chest up even more...this will get much worse before it get better...relying on China to intervene is just delusional unless we look the other way on copyright infringement on the next Jessica
Simpson CD or something of that magnitude...

More importantly, Manny Ramirez will not play in baseball's All-Star game because of a sore knee (its sore a week in advance). Just leave my Manny alone...he is red hot even if he can't say for sure which knee is sore (it could be Big Papi's) let'im hit...

What's up with Fourth of July fireworks displays? Every year they have to be bigger, louder, more spectaculaaaaar. Seen one you've seen'em all. Let's get a fresh spin on the Fourth...fire Revolutionary War era artillery at the audience...or exchange bottle rockets at 50 paces..do something to change the dynamic and kick the celebration of the Fourth back up where it belongs...

Any coincidence that oil prices hit the new high of $75 a barrel on the biggest driving weekend of the year...it's not like they pump it out of the ground and into my car, there is a lag there...

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Let's make this quick...

We're on a dial-up here at the luxurious bunker. Surrounded by woodchucks and awaiting my impending fate at their furry paws...I must quickly post these thoughts.

Ann Coulter appears to have committed a wee bit of plagiarism in her latest attack on civilisation, "Godless". The blonde rightwing hatchet-thrower whom every red-blooded liberal would like to bang, will obviously accuse the lefto, elitist press of having the knives out for her in reaction to her brilliant conservative analysis (not to mention they're jealous of her shoes or something else profound).

The Bosox have finished pummeling the National League and now will turn their attention back to spanking the old A.L...

Is it really only a matter of time before we do something stupid to Iran...I think North Korea is a less sexy (no oil) but more logical target of our "let's make the world safe from nuclear weapons" efforts.

Congress has two pathetic bills bouncing around to address the lobbying scandals creating by the Jack Abramoff case. Basically they will do nothing to control the situation but can say they tried.

Hope the Israelis find their man.

Is Brazil really out the World Cup?

Later,
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