The Flea Collar

more than a feelin'

2008-10-19T11:58:00.007-04:00

On the cusp of one of the great sports comebacks of recent times I thought I'd drop a little love on this, my orphaned-child of a blog. The Bosox have proudly scratched and clawed their way back into a seventh game with the upstart Tampa Devil Rays...er, I mean Rays. Will they triumph? What do the baseball gods portend for them? Who knows, but the journey to get to this epic place in time has bolstered Sox fan's loyalty and enriched the teams legacy once again. Baseball life is good...the rest of life could use a little work.

Some issues:

John McCain, the Captain Queeg of the Republican presidential ship, and his buxom first mate, Sarah Palin, somehow still possess the capacity to win this election. The choice between candidates couldn't be more diverse. Young against old, right against left, liberal against conservative and the clunker, black against white. If you've been listening to Mrs. Palin's campaign blather you can readily perceive the 'code' words and phrases that all seem to say, "this guy's not like us" meaning ... Johnny Mac has even started calling the Obama tax-the-rich plan "welfare". Nice touch maverick. Reminds me of my youth as a clunky skating hockey player (I gotta believe my 'hockey mom' would energetically reject the Palin association if she were still with us). I would resort to some chippy stick-work whenever some kid possessed the skating speed and skill I lacked. A little hook, trip and slash reduced the talent gap and quality of play issues to manageable proportions. That's the Karl Rove approach. Karl's trainees who are on the 'McCain train' take it one step further. They screech foul whenever they get put in the political penalty box for hitting their opponents in the nuts - a hypocritical behavior I proudly never pursued. Do your time and save your yapping for the face to face confrontations on the ice where these things should really be settled.

When did 'Joe Six-Pack' evolve into 'Joe The Plumber'? Any dope making less than 75K a year who swallows the 'everyman' bait from McPalin is cracking opening their PBR's with the wrong wrench.

At the cinema...Just saw Guy Ritchie's 'Rocknrolla' and I must say he has his mojo back after checking it at the door for five or six years while tethered to the over-muscled g-string of one Madonna, whose potential dalliance with A-Rod is an affront to all things American.

YES!!!!

2008-09-24T08:45:00.005-04:00

It's that time of year again...

Hope Johnny McCain takes all his meds before Friday's Presidential debate. I actually like McCain, but he seems to have made some Faustian deal with the devil or is it Karl Rove...

I don't know why the pundits think America will have trouble electing a black prez, from what I see Barack is whiter than I am and I'm pretty pasty...sort of the Derek Jeter deal...

I'd like to see a Keith Olbermann, Sean Hannity steel cage match...

Which is more disheartening for New York baseball fans, the old decrepit Yanks or the death spiralling Metsies? I think I'll do a doorman survey.

Can Joe Biden take that bear-wrestler Palin? Hope so.

Go Sawwx!

my mistakes were made for you - the last shadow puppets

2008-09-11T10:28:00.001-04:00

a voice... a vibe... and some strings...

a hard rain's gonna fall...

2008-09-03T17:22:00.004-04:00

I don't know about you but those shots of Sarah Palin sitting on her sofa with a bearskin thrown across its back are just mildly disconcerting...her creationist beliefs make her a fitting candidate to take the White House intellectual mantel from G.W. - a man who never met a three syllable word he couldn't mangle...When they say, and they will, that Sarah has a nice rack, they'll be referring to the antlers on the last moose she shot and mounted on her living room wall...

Has Obama chosen a campaign song? Maybe something by the Isley Brothers would work...you know black but not too black...

I can't see electing a prez who's a full 7 years past the retirement age of a high school custodian or a school bus driver...the USA is one big bus with no power steering...

I miss Manny Ramirez talking on a cell phone in the Big Green Monster, but that's about it for Manny...

Who died and elected Cold Play U2?

Saw the season premiere of the "Shield" last night...Mr. Chiklis has sure come a long way since "The Commish"...

Gotta go, Mike Huckabee is going to explain to for the 28th time how Intelligent Design works...

7 stinky streams of seepage

2008-08-05T13:59:00.005-04:00

It's been awhile...a lot of stuff has dribbled down reality's leg. I've been gone quite some time working on an offshore oil rig...

Hillary is out, Barack is in....McCain hired Karl Rove's elves to take aim at Obama and OB's campaign is taking on more water than John Kerry's Swift Boat...
Manny just left Beantown after taking 3 minutes to reach first base on a potential infield hit...and some Vanilla Ice type white guy replaced him in left...can we find Ted Williams' head in the warehouse?
Iraq, Iran, Afganistan (it rhymes) - we need to convince more members of the growing ranks of the unemployed that car bombs will be less frequent with rising gas prices...please enlist...
This Miley Cyrus is an economy unto herself...oh my ackey breaky heart...
With such dung buckets of entertainment as America Has no Talent, American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance? and the like dominating ratings is it finally safe to say that American culture has hit rock bottom? Is there an intervention or some course of action we can take?
Saw the Batman movie and fell asleep after the third ending with about another 30 minutes to go in the opus...
If John McCain's approach to campaign advertising works we're all going to have to move to France with Alec Baldwin and Ludicris...victims of the reverse race card...

pepe deluxe

2008-03-01T11:08:00.003-05:00

Sorry we are still recovering from the Pats Super Bowl choke and a runny nose.
Management

today's word is 'genius'

2008-02-02T10:15:00.000-05:00

Belicheck is 'genius' on a mission...

Manny is 'genius' in a doo-rag.

Genius is not...GW wants to give telco companies immunity against litigation if they are caught wiretapping my ass...

Genius is....Mitt Romney looks like the loan officer at the Money Store...

Genius is not being a pussy...The presidential candidates are all backing off on the 'attack' politics and going into a soft love-zone defense...watch what happens when some poll tells them it's not working...

A genius past...Dems like the idea of Bill Clinton but not the reality...

Genius is protecting your investments...They locked Britney Spears up so her mom could protect the cash...and get the paper work together for her last check-out...

Genius is eccentricity...Go Ron Paul...

Genius is free-range...All the time you were stuffing that farme-raised salmon down your gullet you were packing your system with fresh, invigorating mercury...

Genius is not messing with motha nature...I don't know about you, but I'm not rushing out to by a 'cloned' t-bone....

Genius is turning the video box off...I've already got election fatigue...

Genius is closing your eyes...I got 'lost' watching 'Lost'....

Genius is genus...Do you think the Daniel Day Lewis character from 'There Will be Blood' is related to the Bush family...oh, wait a minute, they're from Connecticut...

Genius is sometimes just not being a complete and utter dumb-ass....Rudy can you help me out? I need suggestions on a security detail for my mistress...

Genius is recognizing genius...Patriots 42 - Giants 17 - It ain't gonna be pretty. Make sure you've got alot of liquer, cheese dip and qualudes...

I smell something burning...

the blakes - don't bother me

2008-01-14T14:17:00.000-05:00

I feel this way all the time...

Agents of Change

2008-01-10T09:39:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile. My posting has fallen victim to my general holiday malaise, family responsibilties and my lack of coherent thought patterns...or maybe it was all that tryptophan.

Some road-kill:

Hillary is almost becoming a sympathetic character which doesn't bode well for Obama. Is it just me or is B.O. hitting the JFK bag of tricks just a wee-bit too often? Bill better watch the blood pressure and stick to his no-intern diet...

The Rocket may have added something to his fuel. If Roger were say, Barry Bonds, he'd already be serving time. The whole recording of the phone call to speak to the sick son thing adds a stanky layer of sleaze to Roger's steroid denials...

My Beantown Boys (Celts, Sox, Pats, not so much Bruins) have almost shaken me out of my funk. I wish the NHL would go back to 'old-time' hockey when men were men, i.e. fighting, and hat-tricks were accomplished by individual players - not a whole team. Maybe tightening the immigration laws would help.

Where's Al Gore? Is he in the edit room somewhere cutting that Pygmy Rabbit doc?

The Presidential Primaries feel like a bad espisode of "Lost". You just feel so manipulated.

I think we need another TV dance show. My latest concept, "Dancing With the Guys on the Nightshift", kind of a blue collar, guy-on-guy thing...

I'll pay $5 to anyone who takes out Dr. Phil...

Can anyone explain why Britney Spears appears to drive around all night in low-end American-made shit-boxes with no apparent goal other than to create havoc? Most wacked-out celebs send the under-paid assistant out for the Slim Jims, Red Bull and mancandy.

I'm back to appreciating John McCain. He's going down but it will be a glorious fight...just no prepared speeches please.

I think Rudy G. is going to need to call in a bomb threat or something to kick-start his campaign. Anybody got Bernie Kerak's phone number...

Prediction: Pat's 34 - Jags 13

cranky ross

2007-11-17T20:58:00.000-05:00

A personal attack on me by own relatives...

a blissful respite

2007-10-29T11:55:00.000-04:00

The new boys of summer. I still haven't gotten my head around the 'Idiots of 04'. Wild fires are smoldering - isn't it a bitch when stars have to relocate. I hear Carrot Tops pad got singed. Is Hillary the next Bill? Will I ever see another striped bass? I see a love match in Britney and Tommy Lee...am I right? Does the population of every country we are introducing to the tasty treat of Democracy have to hate our guts - is it something we do, who we are or are we all the secret love-childrens of Dick Cheney?
Manny is a 'Bad Man'. Ellen Degeneres loves and leaves more puppies than Pam Anderson on a long weekend. Is Bono playing weddings yet? Sorry it should have read Sting. The Knicks are going to play a more physical brand of defense this season, they practiced it around the team's offices groping secretaries and cheerleaders...
I don't care what anybody says, Alec Baldwin is one funny a-hole - talent shines through. Spice Girls are back - why? Just thinking of that Clash show at Bonds in Times Square back '81'. They don't make bands like that anymore...

somebody woke up my possum...

2007-09-14T09:06:00.000-04:00

It's been a rough three months. Between Senators playing footsie in the mensroom and Billy Belichick getting nailed for doing some Paris Hilton-style video-voyeurism of the NY Jets coaching staff my Tivo is spinning!
(note I don't really own a Tivo)

The Yankees hit Beantown tonight presenting my Bosox with a glowing opportunity to regain some of that 2004 karma, a complexion rejuvenating event that only a sound bitch-slapping of Joe Torre's Midtown Merceneries can provide. Anything less than a Boston sweep will be totally unacceptable. Let's leave A-Rod's head spinning like the molecular structure of Britney's cellulite at the VMA's.

A few questions:
- Where's Al Gore - making a movie?
- Can Ron Paul win a primary?
- Will Mitt Romney ever have a hair out of place? (see also Edwards, John)
- Can Rudy "I've had more wives than a good Mormon" Guiliani really get the Christian Right in his limo?
- When's K-Feds next release?
- Was it fair of Tiger to hit the roids?
- When can I proudly break-out my Belichick/Patriot's hoodie again at cocktail parties?
- Do you know what a yurt is?
- Which will come first? The initial troop pullout from Iraq or a Hilary/Obama presidential ticket?

tastey small cakes

2007-06-28T08:20:00.000-04:00

Oye!

Michael Moore was going to be the lone guest on Larry King last night to promote his flick "Sicko" and discuss the health-care crisis - he got bumped by Paris Hilton...

Congress is moving toward acknowledging that global warming exists...Could someone rotate my organic yams on the solar cooker?

Live Earth's NJ concert set design will include 900 recycled tires imported from Australia and outfitted with low energy LEDs...just how far were those things shipped?

The Yankees are slowly sinking into the swamp of irrelevancy.

Anne Coulter is doing a really bad Buddy Hackett. I like nasty humor as much as the next individual but it starts with being funny...

On a related topic...Mr. John Edwards must learn that having his wife fight his battles doesn't buttress his "tough on terrorism" street cred.

Why can't I remember to take my reusable bag to the Food Emporium when I go to buy Cheetos? It's tough to change behaviors (see two party system).

gas

2007-06-18T20:33:00.000-04:00

I have to wonder why no one is complaining about the skyrocketing price of gasoline. Oil companies have this whole deal figured out. Get subsidies from the Federal government put it in the bank. Take some refineries off-line just when the summer driving season is starting...cha-ching. Make some vague burping sounds about alternative fuels and manage the oil and gas supplies to maximize profits. You'd almost think the current administration was on big-oil's payroll...America passively gets out the credit card.

Nobody really wants to pay for the fight against global warming...the G8 criticizes Bush but they play their own shell game. The economic impact of reducing emissions will undoubtedly slow the assimilation of any new energy technologies. Politicians never want to be the guy telling voters the bad news. In the case of alternative energy, the new economy and technologies that could emerge from implementing and developing alternative energy technology would almost certainly offset much of the economic downside of changing our energy gulping behavior.

(picture via ericsiegmund.com)

a video message to the rocket...

2007-06-18T09:05:00.000-04:00

This video is a little long (much like Mr. Clemens career) but it has its moments. From Will Farrell's website.
I Wanna Pitch

b-day issues

2007-06-06T09:09:00.000-04:00

I like this Ron Paul guy from Texas. This whole libertarian things has some merit.

Sox have lost something like 5 of 6 and I'm not really that paranoid...delusional maybe but paranoid...not so much.

Mr. Bush's approval rating is way below the Mendoza Line...

Anyone notice that we're still struggling with the whole "global warming" thing? The top guy at NASA seems to think the problem may not exist. He appears to be cut from the same cloth as Alberto Gonzalez and Mike Brown. Since when did party loyalty trump competence on a job application?

I love the whole Christian Law School concept.

I could get a fine meal and a massage with a 'happy ending' for what it costs me to fill-up my gas tank.

Damn Mitt Romney looks presidential. How much does he pay for a haircut?

The protection of small flying creatures from wind power turbines is a design issue, not a legislative one...

Gotta go. Paris Hilton just posted her daily prison diary update...

has anyone seen bobby bonds? I think barry ate him

2007-06-01T13:54:00.000-04:00

Cracked.com has a nice riff on Secret Scientologists, Beck my man...

Went to Mets game last night and a "We Hate Barry Bonds" meeting broke out. People love to kick a superstar when they think he's down (Barry doesn't acknowledge he has a problem). Also see Rodriguez - ARod - who seems to hit better on the road if you know what I mean...

Anybody seen John Edwards this week? Howz the hair look? Can this $400 haircut thing really decide a presidential election? $400 is a drop in the bucket in the context of $250 million dollar Bridges to Nowhere and $400 billion dollar wars...

Did Bill really cheat on Hillary? I mean really? Except for Obama who really cares?
Deep political analysis has revealed the pantsuits are more of an issue for me...

I love Rudy but why do I think he'll try to enforce some kind of a jay-walking ordinance in Bagdad as his first move to secure the Green Zone.

Red Sox looking pretty tasty. NYC may have to go to some group counselling kind of deal if the Yankee's plunge continues...

When will America wake up and just throw GW's ass out of office? Are we just this oblivious?

NYC's taxi fleet is going green. Ford hybrids. Like buying organic produce from Wal-Mart...oh that's been tried...

Somebody wake me when the NBA playoffs are over...

Let's get Al Gore into the presidential sweepstakes...there I said it.

Anybody seen my golf game?

Now that Dancing With the Stars is over I can get back to blogging...

out

play it sideways

2007-05-23T08:31:00.000-04:00

Mitt Romney strikes me as a regal looking fellow who might head a Town Planning Board or make a fine Selectman, but presidential material...not so much...

Manny being Manny beat Yanks...

Justice Department officials are taking "The Fifth" and getting immunity to testify on the Justice Department. Do we see a problem here?

Leo Dicaprio says we should stop using plastic utensils when we order out...to save the planet ya know...maybe it was Brad Pitt...

Everyone can satisfy their adoption Jones and help stop illegal immigration by adopting a Mexican landscaper...

John McCain dropped an F-bomb...oh my...

Apollo Ohno is killing my America one cha-cha at a time...

Gas prices are way up and everyone seems happy to pay...Exxon execs and their Haliburton brethren should spend the Memorial Day weekend in Guantanamo Bay...working their Wharton magic in solitary...

Celts got screwed in the NBA draft lottery...again

I believe Joe Torre will soon be borrowing Fredo's sciff for a little smelt fishing...

who dissed who?

2007-05-11T11:32:00.000-04:00

Roger "The Rocket" Clemens is coming to the NY Yankee's. I wonder if he's any relation to the Roger Clemens who won a couple of Cy Young's back in the day for the BosSox? I wonder how they work his starts in around his golf schedule? So much for Yankee tradition. This sounds like the Web 2.0 version of 25 cabs for 25 players.

Al Sharpton said what about Mormons?

Since when did people create petitions to keep celebutants out of the slammer? Paris should just ad to her video series. Her new release for the Cellblock 6 Shower Series. Suggested title - "Check Into Hotel Hilton - Room Service is a Bitch".

That Republican Presidential debate was a real toe-tapper.

Saw G.W. stating that we can't really expect to stop car bombings all together, just restrict them to low mpg SUV's as part of his combined Stop Global Warming/Global Terror campaign.

Can you light a feature film with CFL's?

apocalypse now

2007-04-19T10:37:00.000-04:00

Turn off your television set unless you want to see more depressing info than you can possibly endure on the shut-in, schizophrenic, nut-job who murdered all those innocent kids at VT. Many news services say he "set a record" for mass murder. We can expect many more internet-generation, video game programmed, copycats to attempt to fill the media void and grab there 15 minutes of infamy.

Why do I need to see pictures of Anna Nicole's poolboy impreganator (new word), Larry Whateverhisnameis, rolling around on the floor with their baby? Every shot of him has giant dollar signs where his baby-blues used to be.

Imus said the "nappy" word and John Edwards had a $400 haircut... just a bad week for hair all around.

I'm in Seinfeld's bizzarro world. The Red Sox lead the majors in pitching.

American Idol is the Walmart of broadcast television. The success of the show speaks to tattered and soiled condition of our society. We should all be ashamed. I'm turning to Donald Trump's Success Building Infomercial series for quality entertainment and overall inspiration.

Why are we still arguing about global warming? What's the upside again?

Honeybees are disappearing. That's big.

let the eagles fly...

2007-04-13T10:18:00.000-04:00

It's been a while...

Enough with Don Imus - his demise is attributable to the old-guys trying too hard to be cool syndrome (I've shown a few symtoms myself). Soon Snoop Dog will have reached an age where he won't be embraced for spewing the same crap.

Dice K is human.

Let's fire the Yankee's training staff the next time someone says the word "hamstring".

The Dems are so concerned about keeping the I-war in Bush's lap that they are paralyzed.

American Idol and Dancing With the Stars are ruining my America.

Spring has sprung but I'm still in first gear...

Loved the fight between Geraldo and O'Reilly last week. Just when was it that Geraldo went over to the darkside...about the time he looked into Al Capone's safe and it was empty.

Does anyone actually watch Anderson Cooper?

I'm glad the "Donald" has moved on to wrestling. Before he picked up the figure-four-Bobby-lock I was sure Rosie could kick his ass.

I'm about to head north to check on the status of my bunker after a long, hard Catskill winter that continues to spit snow and ice...wish me luck.
ggss

the beginning of the end...

2007-04-04T16:32:00.000-04:00

Let's just get a couple of things out of the way right from the get-go. Curt Schilling did lose his opening day start but contrary to everyone in Boston's confirmed belief he is not on the fast track to oblivion. Schill will be fine.

Speaking of doing just fine...John Edwards seems to be pretty much a viable candidate for the Democratic nomination. If the guy wins a couple of early primaries he may get the "he kinda looks like a Kennedy" buzz and look-out!

I think Barack got in a little early which could make him passe before a vote is even cast.

If the guy from Law and Order becomes a Republican front-runner America is in more trouble than already advertised.

Even the loyal "Bushies" are starting to waiver...

Can someone please kill network television before American Idol and Dancing with the Stars merge into one giant blackhole of vacuous marketing emptiness and swallow the universe...

A shoutout to that guy who is dead to me. Playing for the Yankees is not the same as chillin with Sox...it's just a sad, sad state of affairs.

ggss

flesh eating bacteria

2007-03-25T13:01:00.000-04:00

I give Bush 3 more days before he dumps his little dumpling, AG Gonzalez, and sends him off to a plush seat in some mega-corporation boardroom.

The Dems in the House showed a little moxie last week and went and woke G.W. up.

Iran plays a funny game of poker. This whole Brit kidapping thing may require exuming Ronnie Reagan or flying the aging Hank Kissinger to Tehran to trade some missiles for the Brit Marines. Come to think of it, Margaret Thatcher would have kicked some ass over this one.

The Yankees are down to Carl Pavano as there opening day starter at the Stadium. Oh the irony of it all. The headlines in the Post after Carl gets shelled will make me smile for a week. This one may finally put George S. in the Happy Rest Retirement facility where he belongs.

That Hillary bashing remake of the "1984" Apple vid was not done by some loser on a Sunday afternoon with his laptop. Money was spent. Who's money?

Barack is starting to wear on my nerves. He smiles more than Eddie Murphy. Wonder if he likes lady's shoes?

John Edwards just might have a shot.

Rudy's wife had an extra marriage there...is this important?

John McCain is losing his momo or is it mojo. Just shows you that you can't play the game both ways. If McCain goes anymore midddle of the road he'll be standing in the median.
g

confusion

2007-03-19T19:25:00.000-04:00

I'm a little confused. I hate G.W. but I'm having a hard time choosing from the remaining menu of presidential candidates.

Rank the airbags:

The Dems:

John Edwards, though far from a faggot, John is a little bit of a "fancy boy" so I'll have to see how he performs under fire. Let's call him a possibility.

Joey Biden. The man has disappeared from my tv set since calling Barack a nice clean black man. Rating - no chance.

Hillary. Not feeling any warm and fuzzy vibes off her Hilliness. She has plenty of luggage to carry around so stamina is a question. Is still viable in a female Michael Dukakis kind of way. Would vote for her against any Morman - a new category.

Barack. Nice marketing idea. I think I want a candidate with a little more meat on his political bones. Let's wait on him. There could be a complete ass-wipe of a politician under that stylish veneer. Waiting.

Dennis Kucinich - Does way too much singing and acting out to be a serious contender. Howard Dean required just one whoop to crash and burn his campaign.

That Gov. from New Mexico wants to legalize pot but since I can't remember his name maybe I should reconsider my position on pot visa vie my memory loss....

So maybe the Republicans have someone:

Rudy - I have always like Rudy. He got rid of the dangerous squeegy men and took the wild west aspect out of living in NYC. Can get a little autocratic, could easily deem himself the "divorcer" and has questionalble people skills. If elected he might put people like me in jail. A definite contender.

Mitt Romney - Morman, flip flopper on abortion, got elected in my birth state, looks good when standing still, is a Morman. Did I say he was a Morman. I think someone told him he looked a little like Ronnie Reagan and he took it as a compliment. No chance.

Johnny McCain - Once my independent thinking candidate, but that was an election ago. Like Hilly he has eroded his base by playing politics. A fading star.

So there I'm done and I'm no closer to a decision than before I started...
ggss

I'm just a little too slow...

2007-03-06T19:53:00.000-05:00

Ralph Myerz - Nikita

2007-03-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

Norwegian girly muscles and a tippy Ralph Myerz track. I present - Nikita -

I'm half Finnish you know.
ggss

waiting on the gyro-ball

2007-03-02T10:57:00.000-05:00

I just know this is on everyone's mind, should we start putting tariffs on Chinese goods to protect our own manufacturing jobs and middle class? Free trade is a Reagan/Bush economic policy staple - but the playing field has changed. Walmart is pushing all this cheap Chinese crap at low "always on sale" prices to an American consumer who doesn't realize he's cutting his own economic throat. China already holds the mortgage on America, let's stop financing our own demise and start protecting our own workers. China can steal our designs, pour unadulterated sh%* into the environment and exploit the hell out its workforce so screw them. There, I am now an official protectionist, isolationist, libertarian, jackass...so be it!

Now on to more vital issues of national importance...Manny is happy to be a Red Sock, write it down and file it for later review (say when he asks to be traded later today). Dice-K looks good and keeps smiling, so all is well in the Red Sox Nation.
ggss

postpartum depression

2007-02-27T12:41:00.000-05:00

The Oscars went as planned. Forest Whitaker took best actor, leaving that quintessential thespian and moviestar, Peter O'Toole, without the best actor award he so richly deserves. If you saw "Venus" you'd know O'Toole wouldn't have won just to "give the big O to the guy who's about to die". The man gave a staggering performance.

Speaking of staggering performances...is Britney still in rehab?

Why is Al Gore not a viable presidential candidate? Hilly is too stern and has a big suitcase full of no-no's and Barack is, though a great concept, in reality an inexperienced first term senator fresh from the Illinois state legislature. Let Barack fill-out and put on some weight politically before we crown him king. Look out for John Edwards if he wins a couple of primaries. I put $2 on him in the Presidential Derby Futures wager.

How badly does commercial television suck? People now talk about their hi-def flat-panel tv's instead of what they watch. I feel like a beaten-down, eyes glazed over customer at Circuit City when people start professing the dominance of their home entertainment systems. Get a life.

Now I hear that the Iranians are plotting to blow-up NYC. Should I start packing or just wait for G.W. to bomb them back into the stoneage...didn't the war in Iraq get the same set-up back in 2002?

Dick Cheney left the country...somebody lock the door.
ggss

oscar fizzle

2007-02-25T00:15:00.000-05:00

best picture -The Departed, but it should be The Queen

best actor - peter o'toole (forest whitaker was a supporting actor in the very good Last King of Scotland) the rest, Leo, ryan gosling, and the horrible will smith are just not up to snuff.

best actress - helen mirren -no question.

supporting actor - alan arkin - non of the others can speak english

supporting actress - cate blanchett

best foreign language film - pans labrynth

Saw the disappointing Independent Spirit Awards, which are just the Dress Casual Oscars. Sarah Silverman air-porking her favorite cheese was the hightlight.

I think something's stuck to my shoe....

2007-02-21T23:27:00.000-05:00

Guns have been drawn in the Democratic race for the presidential election. Obama's boy, David Geffen, trashed the Clintons and Barack failed to rein him in. On team Clinton, supporter Robert Ford, a state senator from South Carolina - questioned whether a black candidate like Barack might drag the whole party down with him in defeat. Senator Ford is black which further complicated this whole mess. Maybe we can call in Flav-O-Flav to cast a tie breaking vote on this one.

Saw the 'other' Howard Stern lieing on the stand today...can't we just put him in jail and avoid all legalize..oh I forgot, Court TV needs the programming.

Poor Britney is being driven insane by the paparazzi. I know if I had 30 or 40 mil I would see no reason not to drive myself down to the local Super Cuts for a trim. Why wouldn't I be able to zip over to the nearest tbodega for a 40 oz if I wanted one with every expectation of privacy? K-Fed is now the role model. Oye!

Dick Cheney is not satan. Just an everyday CEO.

Global warming is deforesting the top of my polar icecap.

Spring training has started. Somebody call Manny.

A-Rod and Derek are not sleeping together anymore. Just thought you'd like to know.
ggss

dandy warhols

2007-02-19T14:19:00.000-05:00

Smoke it!

winter bloom

2007-02-18T12:22:00.000-05:00

Vladimir Putin is starting to aggravate me.

Oscar's coming up. How about Pans Labrynth for best picture? Probably gonna go with "The Queen" to take most stuff...Forest Whitaker will probably get Best Actor but he was really supporting in the "Last King..."

What happened to Britney Spears hair? She looks like a Hare Krishna guy I tripped over at LaGuardia Airport in May of '86'.

George Steinbrenner's son inlaw got busted for DWI which could change old George's succession plan. Didn't George get convicted of something back in the day?

Red Sox have some real possibilities this year unless Manny completely self-distructs and takes everyone else with him...

A-Rod will be leaving the Yankeros after this season. He has an opt-out thingamajig in his contract.

Should be an interesting presidential race. We now have in no particular order, a woman in bad pant suits, a black man with an Islamic name, a pro-choice Catholic stormtrooper, a libertarian pro-war reformer from Arizona, a tap dancing Morman from Massachusetts, and a vegan.

Quite a menu.

Do you know the vegan pictured above?
ggss

help desk

2007-02-16T13:12:00.000-05:00

the politics of dancing

2007-02-16T12:42:00.000-05:00

Al Gore just said he is not running.

I think I need another dose of Anna Nicole Smith news...another 36 hours, give-or-take, should do it. It'll give me something to watch while I work in the methlab.

Whatever happened to Condi Rice? Isn't she running for prez as the Republican Obama? Guess a little thing called war derailed that train...

Anybody watch the Grammys? How can the Chilli Peppers still be the most subversive act on the show? Those guys have a lot of kharma or something... The Police looked like they were each playing in a different band, sort of the anti-Chilli's. Talk about cashing in. Roxanne is now officially a crackhead street hoe...the Dixie Chicks, really? Anyone in NYC listening to the Dixie Chicks right now should jump in their car...or hijack the nearest cab and drive themselves directly into the East River...now!

Who's the biggest asshole in America...just wondering? Some of my ideas, Ted Haggard, Dick Cheney, Paul Wolfowitz, Jamie Fox, David Spade, Rush Limbaugh, Tony Snow or the guy who writes Studio 60...

Go Red Sox - go Big Papi
ggss

subtle

2007-02-14T10:24:00.000-05:00

"the mercury craze" - nice animation and schizo track kinda like what the Tubes would be like if they weren't all dead.

Evilnine Crooked ft. Aesop Rock

2007-02-09T15:20:00.000-05:00

animation and rap, hmmm...i'm working to change but time is running out...

nansy pelosi's pimped out jet

2007-02-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

So you're the leader of the dems in congress for the first time in years, clamoring for righteous change and one of the first things you do is ask for the biggest, most tricked-out military jet this side of dick cheney's ego to haul you and your posse back and forth to cali. Way to join hands with everyday americans Nancy, way to go. Of course Deny Hastert had the same jet when he was speaker but...

Diapers, divorce, love triangle and the space program. My heads spinning at the possibilities. I think I have an idea for an MTV reality show with Flav-o-Flav in a NASA jumpsuit with diapers on the outside and ladies catfighting weightless in a zero-gravity room...

Bushatola was praising his climate change record today. Yeah he didn't try to discredit all the science and ignore global warming while pissing on the Kyoto Protocol. I must of been watching too much PBS and not enough Fox News the last 6 years.

Maybe Hillary should start her makeover by moving toward flairs on the pantsuit front. Just a thought.

out.

kingdom of doom

2007-02-08T10:42:00.000-05:00

the good the bad and the queen cook up a brit-style stew in this vid...and they eat it too...remember waterloo sunset by the kinks...heaven

what the...?

2007-02-07T12:05:00.000-05:00

That wigged-out jealous astronaut deal I posted on a couple of days ago is turning into a Cable-News-Anchor at the hog-trough pigout.

John Edwards is catching some heat from the Catholic League for employing anti-Catholic bloggers to spread his message...wonder if this story indicates the NYT's is backing Hilly and/or Obama?

We somehow lost 363 tons of cash, give or take a couple of tons, in Iraq. There must be more than a few enterprising Iraqui's with gold plated toilets that don't flush...

Rev Haggard is turned straight in just 3 weeks, hmmm...funny coincidence that Boston Legal ran a similar scenario in last night's show...

and in the most the most important story of the week thus, David Lee Roth is going to tour with a re-organized Van Halen...

ggss

supermassive blackhole

2007-02-07T00:50:00.000-05:00

Muse gets out there and takes my old craggy tukhus with them...

and out of the cold north.....

2007-02-06T08:28:00.000-05:00

Scandanavia is where it's at. Ralph Myerz and the Jack Herren Band rock out.

Let me get this right....

2007-02-05T23:10:00.000-05:00

So the Senate decided that a non-binding resolution criticizing the President's Iraq war policy was too harsh and was repudiated in a vote that failed to gain the 60 votes necessary to begin debate. Our brave public servants rise to support the American public once again.

A good news story from Orlando. Seems one of our female astronauts drove 1,200 miles in diapers (to prevent the need to stop) with various weapons and gizmos intent on kidnapping a younger woman who had designs on a verile male astronaut. Talk about radar love. Lisa Marie Nowak, 43, is charged with attempted kidnapping after spraying her rival with mace. The married mother of three described her relationship with the male space traveler as more than work and less than romantic. Hmmmm.....I'd post the link but blogger won't let me cut and paste...just go over Drudge and check it out.

Saw Joe Kennedy doing an ad for Citgo and the Venezuelan oil discount for American consumers. What's next, Jeb Bush offering us discounts on Cuban sugar, cigars and beachfront property?

It's ironic that with all the global warming headlines plastered across the papers here in NYC, this town is experiencing a record breaking cold snap. While walking in midtown today it was so cold I lost all feeling south of my equator.

ggss

who's running the world?

2007-02-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

let jarvis tellya...oh the brits use the "c" word a little differently than we do, you'll get the idea...great track

enough to get away - joseph arthur

2007-02-04T23:33:00.000-05:00

EofDM

2007-02-04T23:19:00.000-05:00

da bears are feeble

2007-02-04T23:13:00.000-05:00

Rex Grossman will not be quarterbacking da bears next year. Peyton Manning will indeed be making a film with Ashton Kutcher and maybe a seal or some form of monkee. Prince will sell a bunch of cd's because he kicked ass at half-time. I can't wait for spring training.
g

back at the lava pit

2007-02-03T09:46:00.000-05:00

I've been away from the Collar for awhile so expect some rust.

Let's rundown some topics:

Super Bowl - screw Peyton Manning. He's in way too many commercials. Let's call it the Paris Hilton effect. Next thing you know he'll be making a movie with Ashton Kutcher.

Joe Biden- I'm a little cranky this a.m. so lay off my man Joe. He's got the best plan for Iraq and actually knows where most of the countries in the world are located which qualifies him as our leading expert on foreign policy. If he had used the "clean" adjective in reference to Hillary C. maybe he would have skated on this one. If he's said something like "the clean lines of the Senator from New York's pantsuit set her apart from the other candidates on the dais" he'd still be a viable candidate.

Roger Clemens - retire already. Any team other than Houston that hires this guy is denegrating itself. He's the only major league ballplayer that makes his own hours. He's ruining my America, but that's another list.

Robert Dinero - The guy's now a director. His movies are getting better though long (The Good Shephard ) and Scorcese's are getting a little worse (The Departed) though long - I predict they will meet in the middle and merge. We don't need both of them.

Dick Cheney - Dickeroo is obviously suffering from something along the lines of irritated bowl syndrome or a similar affliction...maybe shingles or something. His infirmity is obviously compelling him to lashout - with the next obvious target being Iran. Can Congress stop this? Maybe get him a laxative or something. Send Scooter to the pharmacy right away. Just a thought.

Didn't get to:
Celts
Cartoon Channel (did those things actually look like bombs?)
Elliott Spitzer
Steve Mcqueen
Maypo
Foghat

later,
g

iggy

2007-02-02T19:00:00.000-05:00

Presidential

2006-12-29T09:10:00.000-05:00

It's been over a week since I've freshened the "Collar"...feels like a month. Was watching the news last night when I saw John Edwards announcing his run for president. I kind of like the guy and his contemporized version of "ask not what your country..", the JFK message.

John is a look-good, feel-good kind of candidate. But one small wardrobe detail bothered me. Guys like Dick Nixon in his funeral-ready grey suit or George Bush in an Air Force jump suit (draft dodger) get away with a lot on the satorial front. But my man John just made the tiniest mistake that shed doubt on his campaign. While Barack gets all the media hype and Hillary wrings her hands overObama's candidacy, Edwards has a shot to be the candidate who is neither of them. Not black, female or the son of a former prez, just a smart, good looking, evolved southernboy. Wearing a nice royal blue shirt, not too fancy but showing a lot more fashion sense than say Gerald Ford bouncing head-first down a flight of stairs as he existed an airplane. It was obvious that Edwards was trying to get casual and connect on a genuine, rich-guy-meets-everyman level, the anti-John Kerry. Then he did this thing with the cuffs of his shirt. As he strode into position for his vital campaign kick-off speech I saw the blue shirt, the well coifed hair and then the cuffs... he didn't just roll them up like the Duke, John Wayne, or even disgraced Congressman, Randall "Duke" Cunningham, he did the one roll French cuff thing. Yikes! He was sporting the casual fancyboy look as opposed to the "let's roll-up our sleeves and get to work" blue-collar move I think he was going for. He added a flourish, a fancy "let's just chill at the polo match, flourish. Roll em'up like a man, not some hedge-fund guy from Greenwich relaxing at the spa or some dandy of an executive from Etee Lauder on an off-site. Now one little satorial faux pas has me questioning everything about this guy.
g

Dream Girls

2006-12-20T08:34:00.000-05:00

"Dream Girls", haven't seen it, probably won't. The music industry bio-pic is one of my least favorite genres. Though about as conceptually interesting as Sly Stallone stepping into the ring again, "Dream Girls" does represent an obvious movie industry trend. Hollywood has found a new cash cow, bio-pics of 60's music stars, featuring the redesigned Johnny Cash, Ray Charles and now the Supremes. Dating back to "A Coal Miner's Daughter" and the "Rose" (with some clunkers like the "Doors" thrown in),this stuff has filled seats and won awards. We can now look forward to Beyonce winning an Oscar, (an affront to any legitimate actor), and seeing a flick on the Four Tops or Sly Stone at a cineplex near you in the very near future. Anybody seen Diana Ross lately? Scary stuff!
g

Stocking stuffers....

2006-12-18T11:33:00.000-05:00

Saw where Miss America was sent packing by the "Donald" for alternately doing drugs and dudes at various nightspots in the Big Apple. Personally I don't have a problem with her behavior. She is the embodiment of today's American values and, if he weren't already married, the "Donald" would probably be doing her too.

Saw the end of the latest Survivor last night. The winner was a guy named Yul. All the talk was about representin' the each contestant's race (Asian and Hispanic finalists), which I took as a marketing push by the show's producers to justify their original race-baiting team alignment.

Speaking of troubled producers. Isiah Thomas has managed to pull the Knicks even deeper into their stanky swamp of ineptitude. Seems the coach and GM may have directed his charges to exact some street justice just prior to the Knicks/Nuggets recent brawl...

g

big ears obama

2006-12-15T08:46:00.000-05:00

Barack Obama must be worrying someone. Rush Limbaugh is attacking him on the critical national security issue of... his ears. (click here)

George Bush makes a speech delaying the announcement of his new plan for the Iraq conflict after having a mere three years to get the thing in its current disfunctional state. George also confuses Iran and Iraq in his "deep deliberations" speech.

Red Sox nation is abuzz after the signing of Japanese pitching ace, Dice K. (seen in the photo accompanying this post in a fashion-forward, size 4, woman's winter parka as he arrives in Beantown) Mr. Matsuzaka will also wear the No. 18, a set of digits previoulsy worn by an individual who is now dead to me (hint - initials J.D.).

g

It's that time...

2006-12-13T09:27:00.000-05:00

Every year about this time I'm engulfed by the glow of Christmas. My holiday state of mind kicks into high-gear when we have our first stressed out "how do we juggle the two families" scheduling discussion. I find Christmas to be a travel and scheduling nightmare, not to mention a shallow, materialistic, shopping splooge-fest. The only time I find peace is the moment of blissful obliviousness that directly follows my consumption of my eighth or ninth high octane eggnog at the annual in-law's gift exchange. Oh, the holidays.
g

Rosie

2006-12-11T10:34:00.000-05:00

I get confused sometimes. This whole Danny Devito drunk on The View deal has my tired beer-addled brain spinning. When did Rosie O'Donnell get resurrected as a leader of Daytime Television-engorged womanhood? Ellen Degeneres does a little white-people dancing, and soccer moms everywhere tune-in. Where's the gay-hating, liberal-bashing, Rush Limbaugh-worshiping America we all have seen win recent Presidential elections? I guess the men in the household are doing all the voting. American dads are fighting the good fight, arm-in-arm with Bill O'Reilly -- his "Culture Warrior" sitting atop their Christmas gift list as they put themselves on the Amazon.com wait-list for Don Rumsfeld's forthcoming tome, "Killing Other People's Kids, Through Stupidity and Arrogance." Bathed in the radio-fertilized, hate-based, political cauldron they call a carpool, America's dads must be angrily driving back and forth from their nowhere jobs each day grumbling about gay marriage and not talking about it over dinner. How else can we explain mom's love of Oprah, and Rosie (her last job was producer of "The Big Gay Show" on Logo), and Ellen -- all who -- in some way -- represent the killing of traditional, white America through progressive, liberal behavior? I'm just asking the questions here...now I'm off to the fridge for a daytime libation. Stay away from that clicker...
g

I know it's lame...

2006-12-08T14:12:00.000-05:00

Prediction...or is it predilection... K-Fed will get a subscription to Parenting Magazine to solidify his position as "father of the year" and to keep the titty-bar allowance flowing from the "panty-free" lady. Britney will revert to a more demure, doting mom persona, and begin to dress like Barbara Bush -- as her divorce hearing gets nearer, and she tries to resuscitate both her image and her recording career.
g

Julio Lugo and Nancy Drew

2006-12-06T09:31:00.000-05:00

My Red Sox made a couple of moves yesterday, signing Julio Lugo and J.D. Drew. Lugo is a good hitting, bad fielding 31 year old shortstop and Drew is an oft injured, very good all-around outfielder (sometimes referred to as Nancy Drew due to his reluctance to play injured). The total price tag, $22,000,000 per year...mercy. Checkbook baseball has engulfed the "nation". Somebody in the Red Sox front office must have read that old George Steinbrenner bio, "I Can Buy the Pennant Anytime I Want". Winning can justify any expenditure, but the signings, combined with the Japanese pitcher deal will necessitate that I give up the moral high ground on the payroll issue, which unfortunately means I now have to come up with a whole new Red Sox vs. Yankees rap. Dang! I have about six doormen around the city lying in wait for me to question these deals...and I have no rap.

Oh, and the 'Manny being Manny' trade dance is still on-going. I would prefer Manny stay with the Sox regardless of his wavering loyalties and flagging competitive fire. That crazy mofo can hit.
g

Paltrow, Putin , Taco Bell and me...

2006-12-04T23:36:00.000-05:00

Now I hate Gwyneth Paltrow as much as the next guy but her "the Brits are so much more sophisticated" drivel is so unimportant I don't know why I'm posting about it...I guess everyone's done with those Dixie Chicks.

Bush dumps another lump of coal, I mean U.N. Ambassador Bolton. If Bush dumps one more angry white man there'll just be no fun to be had at that White House Christmas Party this year...except the holiday comedy stylings of one Dick "Mistletoe" Cheney.

Taco Bell's new E.Coli Enchilada Plate...Just one bite and you're good to go..and go...and go...

Can I get a side order of polonium 210 with that burrito?

What do they do with Valery Putin if they prove he's been contracting hits? Cancel his visa?
g

The wind betwix my loins...

2006-12-01T09:33:00.000-05:00

Speculation here at "The Collar", is that Alexander Litvinenko got dosed with polonium obtained from the Russian black market, (a logical assumption even given our limited analytical capabilities). In a 'Bergen County meets Stalingrad' parallel, Vlad Putin probably pulled a Tony Soprano on this one, whereby he mentioned his disdain for Litvinenko while draining his love pony in a Moscow men's room while surrounded by former KGB sycophants looking to move up in Putin's esteem. No direct connection to The Don. Now that the international press is all over the story, look for several more bodies to show up...including Big Pussy's.

What's the deal with all the panty-less exposure Britney and Paris are copping? Is this the new celebrity "branding"?

George Bush is supporting the global fight against aids by endorsing abstinence as "the only sure way" to avoid spreading HIV. I presume he understands how this conveys his profound understanding of the gay and African communities. Genius!

Danny Devito called the Prez "numbnuts" or some such thing on "The View" the other day. At least he was wearing underwear.
g

Bush vs Webb in the steel cage...

2006-11-29T10:09:00.000-05:00

Saw this news story (link) relating an almost-brawl between GW and the newly minted Senator Webb of Virginia. Seems they were having a chat about Webb's son who is fighting the insurgency over in Iraq. I would walk my check over to Time Warner forthwith if we could schedule that bout. The real test of a "war president" is how he does in a Texas-style wrasslin' match with a fellow lawmaker. What da we think here, Bush vs Webb, who da'man?
g

Rachael Ray Sucks

2006-11-28T09:51:00.000-05:00

This post is a holiday follow-up to my heart warming Thanksgiving missive bashing the ubiquitous, pop culture nightmare that is Rachael Ray. I have now found an organization that shares my malevolent feelings toward the culinary paperweight.

Rachael Ray Sucks Community
g

Al Sharpton, Britney and the KGB...

2006-11-27T23:41:00.000-05:00

Rough times ahead for some cops here in old NYC. Seems some undercover cops and their associates dropped 51 shells on a group of guys leaving the Kalua Cabaret (translate strip club) in Queens. The story makes for some tragically great headlines. "Unarmed Groom Gunned-Down on Eve of Wedding". The deceased was no angel and may have tried to run down one of the cops a couple of times but who can say the deadman even realized he was dealing with the law when the guys with the shields look like Mickey Rourke after a rough weekend. Al Sharpton is leading the lynch mob. And I was just warming up to Al....

The story of the ex KGB agent poisoned with polonium-210 is so juicy you know we'll be seeing it on every last one of the 279 CSI's and Law and Orders. The story behind the story is the bogus bombings that the Russian government staged to create the public outcry that allowed them to crush the Chechen separatist movement. Old school KGB stuff is coming back in style.

Saw the pix on Page Six of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears out carousing, boobs akimbo. I love when two great franchises come together to form an even more powerfully shallow entity. Sort of like Time Warner merging with AOL...the synergies and economies of scale are just so compelling...blurp...look out for those polonium cocktails ladies...

America ain't it grand.
g

White meat or dark?

2006-11-22T17:30:00.000-05:00

I hate Rachel Ray. She advises making turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I like dark meat. Please make a whole bird or eat steak. Saw Gwen Stefani on the tube last night as she entered the American Music Awards, or some such thing. Gwen had on a $14 Jean Harlow wig and some beyond-bug-eyed shades - I think her fashion ship may have sailed. I beginning to doubt that my Bosox are going to get this Japanese pitcher signed...just a feeling. Did some heavy clearing at the bunker - looks like a new place. I predict the giant Snoopy balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will be blown out of it's handlers grasp and it will head straight to France.

Enjoy the feast.
g

Bushwacked

2006-11-20T07:37:00.000-05:00

Bunker compound required severe brush and deadfall maintenance - winter is here.Snow last night but no glimpse of the reputed meteor shower.
Pats crushed the Pack 35 - zip. Sweet.
Sox lost Gonzo, last years defensive whiz at short, to Reds in free agency.
Saw some of Tom Brokaw's Discovery Channel feature on Iran. Program is both fascinating and scary, but why do I think Billy Clinton could reason with these folks?
Mega-star-freakazoid, Tom Cruise, got married in a celebrity-filled mock ceremony in Italy. (Pictures will be sold shortly.) It turns out he was married earlier in Cali because Scientology doesn't recognize weddings conducted in Italy...other planets yes, Italy, no. Go figure.
Henry Kissinger states an Iraq military victory is impossible, George Bush is in Vietnam blathering on about victory...if we can dig up Robert McNamara and LBJ we can have a quorum and finally figure this Iraq deal out.
Later - g

Stay what course?

2006-11-18T09:17:00.000-05:00

Saw Georgie-boy over in Singapore tapping on a xylophone type deal with a wooden mallet. I'll be damned George didn't do a bang up job creating a melody that bespoke both peace and harmony. The Decider then basked in the warm Singaporean applause in perhaps the high point of his second term. I presume the president refined his musical chops while a proud member of the Yale cheerleading squad. In a related story, the prez stopped by Vietnam to announce he'd like to send an additional 20K troops to Iraq and push on to victory...talk about the bizzarro world. Vietnam...victory?

Stuff

2006-11-17T09:28:00.000-05:00

Saw the mysterious Mario Lopez and Emmitt Smith on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. Jimmy kept trying to get some humor out of Emmitt's transition from NFL stud to ballroom dancer. Emmitt took this as another example of people not acknowledging his many faceted persona and repeatedly referred to Jimmy as being "a clown". The Jimster kept his cool let Emmitt have his way - but I had to wonder what the dynamic would have been if the roles were reversed and say a Peyton Manning called Arsenio Hall a clown...hmmm.
Of course I might have misinterpreted this whole thing do my substance abuse problem...(beer).

I know it's been touched on elsewhere but I just have to pile on Rush Limbaugh's, "I'm just so glad I don't have to carry the water for these guys anymore..." shtick. How does one of the most popular talk radio hosts admit to his audience that he has been defending policy and politicians that he, himself, knew to be crap and still maintain the undying support of said audience? Are these people listening? I find Rush entertaining on a puffed-up blowhard level, sort of like a politically misdirected Chris Farley, so by all means blather on Rush.
g

Who's Mario Lopez?

2006-11-16T09:11:00.000-05:00

In the seminal days of this blog, when things were going bad, I took some tough losses. My gallbladder went down and had to leave town, Johnny "he's dead to me" Damon signed with the evil empire and the BoSox jettisoned my boy, Bronson Arroyo to Cinci...but now the tide seems to be turning. The Sox have an opportunity to snag "Mad Dog Matsuzaka" (we'll work on the nickname), I've almost forgotten I had a gallbladder, that other guy is indeed dead to me and I can't tell you what hairstyle Bronson is sporting this fall. On to today's discharge...

Saw this article stating poppy production in Afghanistan is up 50% this year. We're spending $500 million tax dollars to erradicate the Afghanie drug trade and the problem is getting worse, much worse...and this was the first war we won in the "global war on terror".

On a totally unrelated note...I have to admit I never thought this "Dancing With Stars" thing would be a hit, particularly when they misuse the term "stars" to include Tucker Carlson, Monique Coleman and Mario "Saved by the Bell" Lopez. I guess America is just one voracious television watching machine. Unfortunately I couldn't break away from re-runs of "Bassmasters" to catch who won.
g

Daisuke Matsuzaka

2006-11-15T09:48:00.000-05:00

For a sum equal to the gross national product of Paraguay - the BoSox got their man. Will this end up a cautionary tale of over-hyped expectations, over-spending, and over reaching? We will find out. But, at the very least, the Sox brass has found a way to grab some headlines back from the Evil Empire and bring the warm glimmer of an optimistic spring training to the leafless New England landscape.

The new pet term at the White House regarding Iraq is, "that's a non-starter", a term usually used in reference to a "68" Buick LeSabre, last year's weed-wacker, or various pitchers working strictly out of the bullpen.

g

K-Fed nailed my woodchuck....

2006-11-14T09:14:00.000-05:00

We've been on a serious landscaping binge up at the bunker. Trees, brush, excess calories... everything must be trimmed back and styled before winter. Get that deer away from the water lillies, get that woodchuck out of the woodpile...

Speaking of the woodpile...looks like the Democrats are settling in for a nice siege around the White House. The current battle will be nothing compared to Republican attacks on the Clinton presidency. I guess Bush can fall back on this quote when dealing with the exuberant Dems, "I'm a war president. I make decisions here in the Oval Office on foreign-policy matters with war on my mind...." The president's swagger has diminished in direct proportion to Republican losses in Congress...bar charts later....

On the gossip front it occurs to me that K-Fed would be a more sympathetic character if his look were just a little more Brad Pitt and a little less street corner weasel. The guy is seriously devoid of any redeeming traits either esthetically and intellectually ("intellectually" is not a word to be thrown about casually when around either K-Fed or Britney).

In the sports world...my N.E. Pats got whupped by the lowly Jets this week. Debilitating to say the least.

On a more positive sports note (I think), the Sox are rumored to be on the verge of winning negotiating rights to Daisuke Matsuzaka. It appears they only had to bid more than some teams entire payroll just to get the chance to negotiate with the guy. And I used to chide my Yankee locals with the slight, "checkbook baseball". What goes around comes around I guess. Just win baby...

g

Country Bumpkins...

2006-11-10T11:54:00.000-05:00

When did country music become all about hair-dos and metrosexual Goo-Goo Dolls look-alike contests. Country pop is crap and affront to all things Country.

Saw Sasha Cohen do his Borat thing on Letterman and perform briefly with Beck. Beck seemed to really enjoy the whole deal...

Barb Boxer is taking over the chair of the Senate's Environmental Public Works Committee. The last guy in charge was cosmically deranged Senator Inhofe from Oklahoma who's best buddy is "Bridge to Nowhere" Senator Teddy Stevens R-Alaska. What a pair of old-school-pork-barrel-dickwads. Maybe Babs can get G.W. to acknowlege we have a little global warming problem....

Seems the GOP is upset at Rumsies bail job...way to support the party George...

Hope my Red Sox can pick up one of these Japanese export players just to be fashionable of course...

I hope George Steinbrenner's health holds out long enough for him to blowup the current Yankee ballclub which is looking quite formidable...

Did Rutgers just win a big football game?

Have a fully satiated weekend.
g

Rummy, Borat and Red...I miss you...

2006-11-09T16:18:00.000-05:00

I miss you Donny Rumsfeld, I really do. Who else can I rely on to stay the course...no matter what...well maybe Dickie Cheney and he may be gone ahuntin' soon also.

I miss you K-Fed. Did Britney really drop the d-bomb on him in a text message? That really indicates some communication glitches in their formerly trailertrasherific relationship. I don't know about you but I haven't incorporated texting into my normal communication processes the way the younger generation has.

I'll miss you LOST. Saw where the show is off til February. Why do they do that?

I miss you George "Macaca" Allen. What happened to the man who would be president? The same issues of race that took him down in his Senate race could be a positive in a run for Prez, just look at what happened to Harold Ford in Tennessee.

I miss you Gary Sheffield. The Sheff, much to my dismay, is quickly making travel arrangements out of NYC. Who will now step up, or down, to display the "me first" attitude that helps make the Yanks clubhouse the utopia of ungrateful millionaires that we've come to expect? Perhaps Senor Randy Johnson or the quietly selfish Bobby Abreu...

I miss you Borat. Sasha Cohen is getting totally overexposed and the movie is funny but in no way a comedy classic. Soon Borat will be boring and Sasha will join the slag heap of serious comedians, Mike Myers, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray Jim Carrey, Dane Cook and the like, in the formerly funny fraternity.

I'll miss you classy Ed Bradley, though in recent years I've found 60 Minutes to be less and less relevant.

And most all... I'll miss that cranky, pontificator of the hardwood, Red Auerbach, a legend, an innovator and a champion.
g

gosh, golly, gee....Britney

2006-11-08T15:41:00.000-05:00

The Dem's have taken the House and probably the Senate, Don Rumsfeld has resigned, we'll have a woman Speaker of the House, Britney dumped K-Fed, there's a black governor in my old state of Taxachusetts, Arnold's back and I'm checking out the Borat flick later...whew!
g

Election time is here...

2006-11-07T13:22:00.000-05:00

Robo-calling is the latest RNC negative campaign trick. It's kind of clever, keep auto-dialing a prospective voter, under the guise of the opposition candidate, until the voter loses it and decides not to vote or votes for your guy.

Went to vote up in the hills and they had me in the wrong district...I prevailed and voted my concscience...even included Hillary in my largesse...but not Alan Hevesi...

Haven't seen Borat but the buzz is defening...

Didn't watch the CMA awards last night but did enjoy viewing Faith Hill's very Christian reaction to losing...

Get ready for that big Genesis reunion lp...what?

Beck's latest record keeps spinning on my Ipod...is he really a Scientologist?

Damn those Colts, they made my man Tom Brady look human...

Check out the Useless Men's (our renters) blog for the answer to one of my burning political questions...Seagal or Hasselhoff, who makes the best Presidential man-candy?

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Sunday Sermonette

2006-11-05T14:32:00.000-05:00

Nice coincidence that Sadam guy getting sentenced to death a couple of days before the mid-term elections...

Harold Ford looks like that ad portraying him as a danger to nail a white woman has worked...he's down by 10 points...

Watched the Breeders Cup yesterday and even hit a couple of exactas, but the Pine Island tragedy cast a pall over the whole deal...

Gotta love that Rev Haggerty saying he was curious about "meth", so he bought a big pile of it and threw it away...maybe the lord spoke to him...
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Burn in Hellfire List III

2006-11-03T10:14:00.000-05:00

I smell someone burning...

The Rev. Ted Haggard, who until Thursday was President of the National Association of Evangelicals and advisor to the Bush Whitehouse, has resigned over allegations of gay sex, drug use and infidelity. The Rev says he's stepping down to do his own investigation...I guess of himself...hmmm...

The producers of Lost, who killed off the beloved Mr. Ecko (beloved for Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje's portrayal of another shirtless, malevolent character on HBO's OZ). Agbaje is the latest character to be killed off for a bad driving...Way to go producers...a great way to manage those story arcs...

Senator George Allen who is circulating an email smearing his opponent, decorated war hero Jim Webb with this gem: "First, it was the Catholic priests, then it was Mark Foley, and now Jim Webb, whose sleazy novels discuss sex between very young teenagers." Nice, concise and to the point...

John Kerry, who's comedic stylings are causing such a contrived uproar. Somehow I think the Bush administration's undermanning and under-equipping our troops in Iraq is more of an insult to our armed forces than some Ivy League dipstick's bad joke...I guess that's just me....

Puff Diddy - wants to eventually play the black James Bond...please go away...Diddy you're starting to combust...

Brad Pitt - posed shirtless in his skivies and doesn't want the photo on the cover of Vanity Fair - come on Brad you dropped the trow now take the bow...

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Template, shemplate...

2006-11-02T18:05:00.000-05:00

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THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED BY MANAGEMENT - only the dog remains
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Useless

2006-11-02T00:19:00.000-05:00

Please click on my useless renters, the inimitable, Useless Advice From Useless Men. As purveyors of all that is vacant they have managed to create a blog that captures everything that makes the blogosphere so very useless. Their thumbnail lies in the sidebar, as if you didn't know.

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Wickerman Hellfire Video

2006-10-31T16:24:00.000-05:00

Here hot from my Hellfire Edit Facility is my Wickerman video shot this weekend exclusively on location at my bunker. This Halloween treat stars some of my degenerate relatives, including my lovely wife as the howling hellcat. Enjoy or burn in hellfire.
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ugh!

2006-10-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

The last time I checked America was at the wheel of a creaking, wobbly old bobsled, rocketing down an icy slope through a blizzard of shit headed for a grey and shadowy oblivion - sporting an overly engorged man-tool, contact lenses with the wrong prescription and runny nose.

Mid-term elections next week.

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Burn in Hellfire 2

2006-10-25T10:05:00.000-04:00

The list:

Rush Limbaugh - the man actually accused Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his affliction. Rush is the last person to make mention of anyone going off their meds, given his rap sheet for illegal prescription drug abuse. Anyone who listens to his show is a giant dipshit.

Kenny Rogers - not because he cheated...because he got caught!

Ken Mehlman Chairman of the Republican National Committee - refuses to pull the racist attack ad against black Dem. Senate candidate Harold Ford Jr. in Tennessee, saying it is an independent expenditure...he wrote the check for it.

The Killers - for being an affront to all things fashionable. Many bands try to depart from the sound of their first hit album to show the vast expanse of their artistic talents. The Killers have taken it one step further and adopted a new look involving facial hair that strangely resembles some of the macho stlylings of the Village People...and I don't think they're being ironic...holy mother of Foghat!

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Just a couple of more things...

2006-10-24T09:47:00.000-04:00

Yes Kenny Rogers had some pine tar type-splooge on his hand to help him whup them Cardinals, but that was only the first inning. The Cards are not World Series ready if that kind of thing is going to stop them and crying about it just makes them bigger losers.

I see where the Bushies are discontinuing the use of the term "stay the course" as they scramble to come to grasp with the realities of the Iraq debacle and its political repercussions. They say they have always maintained a flexible approach to the war effort, which I presume, dovetails nicely with their overtly "flexible" approach to the truth.

Saw where Celtic, Sebastian Telfair, has been ruled out as a suspect in the shooting of the rapper Fabolous. That leaves as suspects the 2 or 3 million people upset with the messed up spelling of his name.

Saw D.L. Hughley on Leno last night and I realized I had forgotten what a funny guy he was after watching him get all serious on NBC's "Studio 60". That show trys to weave about 6 heavy subplots into each episode and in the process squeezes out any potential jokes.

The fall elections are upon and it's a foregone conclusion the the House will go Democrat and two key Senate races, Tennessee and Virginia look to be pivotal in whether the Dems can gain control of the Senate. Race is an issue in both states, with dynamic black candidate, Harold Ford trailng slightly in TN and James Webb trailing the "Macaca Man", George Allen, in Virginia. Only in America.
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Get a grip....

2006-10-21T09:13:00.000-04:00

Just a couple of things...

Heather Mills is said to have footage of Sir Paul knocking her around, further evidence of the glowing nature of their former union. Doesn't everyone tape their family arguments? Heather is obviously trying to add a couple of zeros to her severence check. When it comes time for Sir Paul to settle-up, hopefully we'll find Heather doesn't have a leg to stand on (sorry). We could have warned him early on...

I haven't seen the footage of insurgents in Iraq firing on U.S. troops (from their pov). In reaction to the airing of the footage, super-patriot Rep. Alan Hunter, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, asked the Pentagon to remove CNN reporters embedded with US combat units. Censorship is always the best way to protect our troops. I'm sure terrorists across America are the real audience for this footage not the American public in search of more evidence as to what's really going on in that desert rat-hole.

Madonna may go for two...Never one to hesitate or cut corners when she really wants something, her ladyship, Madonna has taken to snagging a gaggle of African babies. Whether it's banging a back-up dancer or corralling a new religion, Madge get's the job done.

Hillary should just announce her candidacy and get it over with before Bill blurts its out.

George Michael states that ganja keeps him sane. I'd hate to see him when he's off the weed.

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The "Burn in Hellfire List"

2006-10-17T10:01:00.000-04:00

In an effort to move away from all things positive...the "Collar" is launching a semi-weekly, "Burn in Hellfire List" to be used when needed, as a purging exercise.

This weeks storied group:

Bono - the pop political diva has taken his music publishing company out of Ireland and fled to the Netherlands to avoid Irish taxes on the band's royalties and to continue his fight against world poverty by further lining his own pockets. Ouch! Take that poverty.

Right-wing Radio Talk Demon and full-time blowhard, Michael Savage, who blames the gay community and it's "deathstyle" for spawning Mark Foley and his ilk. It must be getting very crowded in that Republican closet about now.

Sting - saw his pompousness on Studio 60 last night playing a lute and warbling some of his warmed over tunes to promote an upcoming easy-listening project. (yes...that was the sound of toilets flushing around the world) Everyone knows a lute record is the final refuge of musical performers who have run out of energy and ideas and are yearning to join Rod Stewart in their grandmother's Itunes playlist. Rock on yoga-boy.

Karl Rove - the cynical little political mastermind has managed to make a game of the fall elections even with daily Republican scandals. The little turd, who most days can be found in his office wrapped in Old Glory with a crucifix each hand plotting political shenanigans. The bigbald Bushinista has been aided greatly aided in his proganda efforts by a hyper-ventilating and incompetant Democratic Party.

Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - who says he has...inspirational links to God, and went on to say that if you were a true believer, God would show you miracles. The Iranian Incubus's utterances are scarily close to our own presidents musings on his messages and directives from upstairs. Great minds think alike.

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Studio 60 / Aaron Sorkin

2006-10-15T09:21:00.000-04:00

Was trolling the Drudge Report and saw a call to arms by Townhall.com using the tv show, Studio 60 and its creator, Adam Sorkin, as catalysts to stir up God's foot soldiers against the "radical liberal agenda". Seems the Hollywood types just can't help discussing the censorship they have to deal with when producing a show about a show. Creative types may not be our best political spokespeople, with Ron Silver, Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon and Babwa Streisand emabarrassing thinking people with their puffed-up political prothelisizing but they needn't be censured. Broadcast television is based on the old survival of the fittest model. Get ratings, stay on the air...if America doesn't tune in you're gone. Good old American competition. I think people are getting tired of the Christian Right hijacking our political and social agenda. Utlimately I'd hope to have the option of deciding whether (and it's not) Studio 60 is funny or not and let those humorless flag wavers at Townhall.com go worship at the alter of Anne Coulter and the rest of her fascist, anti-America bomb throwers while they tune-in to Jerry Falwell and the other philandering, pulpit pounders on their own tv's...no humor there.
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Fall TV Extravaganza

2006-10-13T09:07:00.000-04:00

Some thoughts on this fall's TV offerings.

Studio 60 - how can a show about a comedy show have so few laughs? Good cast and lighting though...

Lost - leaves me Lost.

Nip/Tuck - horrible, depressing smutfest and I'm usually a sucker for that kind of thing.

The Wire - now we got something here. Gritty, authentic, street cinema where you need subtitles to know what the good people of Baltimore are spouting and to think it's Ed Burns baby and produced by a bunch of chubby white guys...bravo I say!

Shark - Just shows how star power can overcome cookie cutter casting, flacid writing and warmed over concept...Jimmy Woods leaves no scenery unchewed.

30 Rock - See Shark above. Tina Fey weak performance will ultimately kill this one, but my man Alec Baldwin shows you what comic timing is all about as he turns this lame script into comic gold.

Mangia,
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It's been a while...

2006-10-11T08:39:00.000-04:00

Been posting on my "good kharma" blog and neglecting my mutant, ill behaved, firstborn, the "Collar". If anyone's reading...sorry.

A few notes:

Gotta love the Foley scandal and its many permutations.

The whole Republican gay-subculture is a fascinating. What are all these dudes doing working for the Nazi Right? They are the big story here. The evangelofascists are going to burp up some chunks just thinking about all that gay sex and stay homo on election day...

Saw some Republican Rep from North Carolina get reemed by the usually soft-tossing, Wolfe Blitzer, for spreading the tale that the Demon Dems had prior knowledge of Foley's naughty IM's and timed their release to have maximum impact the fall elections. The poor schmuck could site no evidence of the devious Demo plot. Sir I believe you highly overestimate the Dems capabilities and thought processes.

This is going to be another deal where the culprit, Foley, didn't actually break any laws (the pages were probably of age when he finally nailed them) but the cover-up did. Sweet.

Nobody cares about the innocent, little, affluent pages...huddled at their laptops scouring the internet for porn to call their own...

On another front...don't we seem to have hard evidence of WMD's in North Korea, quite unlike Iraq, and yet we blather on about NK and will probably follow through without so much as a good spanking...
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The All Spin Zone...

2006-10-05T08:18:00.000-04:00

I've always marvelled at the ability of rightwing talk radio and TV, Billy Bob O'Reilly and the like, to blather on an on about the lefto media bias, so...I have to admit I'm a little disappointed in their reaction to the Congressman Foley fiasco. The Drudge Report leads off with the giant headlines, "ABC Online Glitch Leads to Identity of Foley Accuser", not really English but takes a shot at the opposition and it has been up on Drudge for twelve long hours, an eternity in DrudgeVille. Drudge follows up with, "Famous IM Exchange Was With 18 Year Old", not bad when combined with "I was drunk at the time...", I was molested by the clergy, and that evangelical crowd pleaser, "I'm profoundly gay and capable of anything...". On the "Factor" Tuesday night the lower third on Foley identified him as (D-Fla) for the whole segment and that show is taped well in advance...with no oopsie we're sorry follow-up. Sean Hannity was on a group grope on Fox discussing "The Great Democratic Page Molestation Scandal of 1983", which I'm sure Sean remembers vividly from the headline in the New York Times which he quickly scanned in the 10 seconds or so his head was out from under the beer tap at that Beta Phi kegger back in the day. All in all, a rough week for the Republican Piety Party, family values and Instant Messaging. Oh, and by the way, there's this little civil war in Iraq going on...
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"Naughty emails..."

2006-10-03T08:55:00.000-04:00

Presidential Press Secretary and former Fox News personality, Tony Snow, has characterized Congressman Mark Foley's creepy, purient emails to teenage pages as "naughty". Now my definition of "naughty" is Betty Page in a corset and heels not some middle-aged pedophile Instant Messaging unsuspecting 8th graders inquiring about what they're wearing while he twiddles his joy-stick. May they all go to jail...preferably Abu Ghraib.
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ten things killing my America...

2006-09-27T15:20:00.000-04:00

10. Jamba Juice

9. Mega monopolies. They're everywhere. Sucking up and everything in their path, facilitated by every Republican from Reagan to Bush...their pockets filled with cash.

8. Contemporary music. Clay Aiken and Fergie. Enough said.

7. The Iraq war. Let's fight terror over there instead of over here. Create thousands of Jihadists to help stop terrorism...it's a plan...

6. Reality TV.

5. MTV

4. Dane Cook. Keep this lame-ass, no talent, dipshit outta my way....

3. Katie Couric. See Dane Cook....

2. Evangelical Christians, if only because they support George Bush and several other facist, Nazi, purveyors of hate and intolerance...the real Axis of Evil....

1. Branding. Everything is about the brand. Wear that Abercrombie and Fitch you brainless fashion whores...slap on those Geox shoes and the latest handbag, stick your fingers down you throat and barf-up some of that good old American culture while you drop a couple of pounds so you can squeeze into those Juicy jeans....

Whew, now that that's done I can go back to watching NFL Football and eating my Kraft Mac & Cheese.
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Assorted Mixed Nuts....

2006-09-21T08:31:00.000-04:00

Been listening to the new Kasabian cd, "Empire". Doesn't seem to have the singles of their last record but has some nice hooks and rocks nicely. Downloaded some more Eagles of Death Metal.

See where Bill O'Reilly says he was on an Al Queda death list...visions of grandeur and self delusion will take you right to the top Billy Boy.

Did anyone see Venezuelan Pres Chavez sniffing the air for the devil at the U.N.? Chavez and the Iranian Prez are working day and night to make G.W. look good...and God help us, it's working.

Oh...on the apropos of nothing front...I just thought my handful of readers would like a picture of a sweet little bunny.

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If I needed hair gel this could be a problem...

2006-09-19T10:39:00.000-04:00

A high ranking British Intelligence agent and explosive expert blows-up the myth of the recent "liquid bomb" threat in Europe. LINK
Shoe bombs, exploding baby's milk, dangerous hair gel bombs...if this is the next wave of terror I'm feeling a little safer. If we keep busting these "masterminds" maybe I can safely pack my Rogaine and Astroglide for that vacation trip to Turkey to see the Pope when he's over there.

eagles of death metal

2006-09-19T00:15:00.000-04:00

Josh Homme describes his band as "bluegrass slide guitar mixed with stripper drum beats and Canned Heat vocals".

Good stuff.
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Sunday Sermon

2006-09-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

All hail Sunday...time to expell my weekly political gasball. Here's are some thoughts:

Are we frightened enough yet to vote Republican? One more speech by George W. and I'll have to make a special trip to my local Sam's Club for that 50 Pack of Depends.

What is up with the Pope? Maybe something was lost in the translation. If Catholics can't figure out what the hell their own Pontiff is saying, what are these Islamic wackos so upset about.... but really, what were he and his handlers thinking? This is Mel Gibson with a degree in theology weaving some confusing analogy from hell...and Islam...Islam is like an illiterate 4 year old with an insecurity complex exacerbated by hyper tension, a hair-trigger temper and no Ritenlin...a tantrum waiting to happen. They don't need facts just some crayons and an Uzi. Somebody whip up a bad cartoon to draw some of the car bombers away from the Popester...where's Salman Rushdie when we need him?

Does anyone know what the Dems are pushing other than "not Bush"? My man Joe Biden is definitely not getting enough face-time on network news.

Is Anderson Cooper traipsing around Afganistan really stirring up America? I think everyone, including Don Rumsfeld, would agree we are done with Kabul let's ignore the resurgent Taliban and maybe they'll go away.

What happened to that big lobbying scandal with Jack "the wack" Abramoff? Bob Ney is the only guy they got? God forbid somebody has oral sex somewhere in D.C. we can start a real investigation. Is there a rug big enough to sweep the stench of this one under?

The Bushies are still plotting to bomb Iran, oy.

It'll take me 40 minutes to get to Sam's Club. I hope I make it.
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Popeye, Spinach, E.Coli, T.V. news and moi...

2006-09-15T20:11:00.000-04:00

Why is it that a 70 year old dude died from eating some bad spinach last week, dozens of people are sick and the national news agencies, and particularly television news, is just getting around to warning the nation...and why is it that when you flip from one local or national news program to another they will all be running the exact same story, be it fashion gossip, carjacking, child molestation whatever, within two minutes each other? Do television news producers call each other or email a list of stories complete with b-roll to all their competitors? Is this a conspiracy? Is big brother running all these t.v. news programs...hmmm that still doesn't explain Fox News...

Oh and can anybody i.d. the guy who's picture accompanies this post?
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Borat Video

2006-09-14T13:43:00.000-04:00

Borat's report from the homeland.

Sasha Cohen, Borat and Bush

2006-09-13T14:42:00.000-04:00

Sasha Baron Cohen's character, Borat, has pissed off the government of Kazakhstan. The negative portrayal of Kazakhstan is compelling President Nazarbayev to visit George Bush to discuss Borat and his impact on Kazakhstan's image. The two influencial world leaders will discuss this pressing international embarassment over a bluefish dinner at the Bush family's Maine compound later this fall. Bush foreign policy takes another big step forward.

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Walk away with your winnings

2006-09-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

Sitting here in NYC and watching some of yesterday's 9/11 memorial services and the president's speech last night I came to the realization that we, the people of NYC, are no more safe than we were prior to 9/11 and are probably at more risk than ever. We will all hear the Republican administration tell us that we haven't had a major terrorist attack on American soil in 5 years and credit their security measures and the war in Iraq as the major contributing factors. Well I have to admit that, now and again, I have been know to hit the craps and roulette tables of various gambling dens across this great land and if there is one thing I have learned from these endeavors it is to walk away from the table when you are up, cuz sooner or later the house wins, your luck runs out and you have to pay the man... So let's put our winnings in the bank , count our blessings, fortifiy our ports, airlines, nuke plants and borders and get on that bus out of Atantic City (Iraq) with the rest of the blue hairs and stop tempting fate...Let's not confuse luck and timing with expertise and planning.

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Sunday Sermon...the search for Bin Laden

2006-09-10T09:53:00.000-04:00

As the Bush administration beats the terrorism drum like a dead horse trying to scrounge up enough fear and paranoia to eke out the necessary wins in the fall elections to maintain control of Congress, Bin Laden luxuriates in a hut or cave somewhere in northern Pakistan. It looks increasingly like 'America's Most Wanted' will die of natural causes before the Bush posse even gets another whiff of his whereabouts. Here's a good article from the Washington Post outlining some of the changes in man-power, technology and strategy the U.S. government has employed in the hunt for Bin Laden, but the trail has been allowed to go cold...
LINK

Ultimately the Bush/Cheney shift of manpower and focus to Iraq lost us our best shot at Bin Laden. The harsh mountainous terrain of the region and tribal support are difficulties that have been compounded by our shift of resources to Iraq, our incompetent and feuding intelligence agencies and our inability to motivate our Pakistani (supposed) allies. All we can hope for now is a fatal attack of kidney stones.
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Just tell me where it hurts...

2006-09-08T08:05:00.000-04:00

Had to run out and see a movie edited by one of our old buddies who has become a Hollywood guy.

I should have known that this was an ill-fated film viewing endeavor when a guy, some European guy, jumped in front of us at the ticket window to inquire where a film that was no longer showing at the theater had moved to, and astoundingly, the little old New Yorker lady in the booth started looking up this idiot's movie time in the NY Post. Forboding indeed. We eventually got in and joined the four other people in the theater who had paid to see the film.

Things started well, with our compadre having his editing credit nicely placed before the title of the film, director and screenwriter Neil Labute's remake of the 1970's quasi-horror film, "The Wicker Man". If you don't know him, Mr. Labute is a provocative filmmaker and playright with a reputation of being a practicing mysogynist.

On a positive note, Angelo Badalamenti, the composer from one of my faves, "Twin Peaks", created the soundtrack which set the mood with a "Shining" type vibe, however the film's star, Nick Cage, who now has the look of a guy who has made about 6 horribly misguided career choices in a row, took the film in another direction. Nick plays a terribly unsympathetic, confused, man-puppet (playing himself?), with hair and wig died an artificial, bottle-brown, fake teeth growing out of his mouth like he's some mutant hedgehog and a look on his face like he's in constant career-ending pain, which while reading Mr. Labute's dialogue, I'm sure he was.

The rest of the performances (200 year old Ellen Burstyn is the hottest chick in a flick dominated by women) are uniformly terrible. The only audience members frightened by the film are critics who must quake at the thought of Labute making another film. The movie builds no suspense and is ultimately, if anything, a comedy. Dialogue, which at times can be Labute's strength, turns on him in this turd, with much of the horror in the film emitting from people's mouths as they struggle to deliver this uncooked cheeseburger of a script. You just can't wait for Mr. Cage to stop running around in his bear-suit and get to his barbecue.

My final positive statement on this whole deal is that the film was very well edited.
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What's up with that...

2006-09-07T09:57:00.000-04:00

So I'm working with a guy...maybe you'd call him a video editor...I just met him and he starts giving me just a little too much personal info...like he's a healthy eater...snap peas and carrots for snacks, like that, but some things get his goat. He goes into a supermarket and picks up a few items and then notes that the parsley or the goat cheese is reeeallllly overpriced, like I need rape counseling overpriced, so he pockets the item, pays for the rest and heads-out and on his way... a happy, righteous man. Klepto or consumer freedom fighter?
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Not Tuesday...

2006-09-06T12:06:00.000-04:00

'Positive Tuesday' is over so let's get down to business.

The Bush administration has now made the current 'appeasers' comparisons stretch into the appeasement of Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Boris Badenoff, Lex Luther, The Joker, Darth Vader and Wiley Coyote. Is this campaign really working?

Supernova has now become 'super-boring'.

Sox have won a couple, so hotdog and beer sales at Fenway will remain strong for a couple of more days...

Is Tom Cruise the devil...a short alien super-being...or just another lame star created by Hollywood's vast marketing machine who we should ignore and replace with the new Lassi or something?

Given his apparent lack of diplomatic skills, I think President Bush should challenge that Iranian Prez to a Texas Steel Cage Match and show the little terrorist twerp some Texas Steel Cage justice....

...and finally I hope they don't show the actual footage of 'The Crocodile Hunter's' demise...that I think, would be the final nail in the coffin of our civilization.
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