Yankee Pitching Staff

My recent gallbladder "situation" has given me ample time for reading. A sympathetic someone gave me a stack of Red Sox related hardcovers including, Bill Simmons' "Now I can Die in Peace", which I have summarily devoured. All this Soxcentric reading has gotten my latent baseball juices flowing, aided by several fanatical Yankee-loving doormen who inexplicably ambush me in various lobbies as I sport my "You Can't Stoppi Big Poppi" t-shirt.

With thse pre-existing conditions firmly in place I sat down for my morning constitutional (these things become important to those fighting the gallbladder wars) and happened to peruse an article in today's NY Post about touting the veteran leadership of Randy "Father of the Year" Johnson and Mike "I look like my tummy hurts" Mussina. Early season perfomances have provided hope for each while Chien-Ming Wang and Jaret Wright have faltered slightly and that hat-askew guy, Chacon, has yet to appear. So I figured I'd stir the pot a little while riding high on the performances of Schill and Beckett (the new law firm in Beantown). I make the undaunted and probably misguided prediction that Johnson is getting old and Mussina is headed for a rest home somewhere near Tampa. That being said, I predict the Yankees will break the bank signing Mr. Roger Clemens sometime in May (even though he never returned that Hummer they gave him upon his last farewell tour - see B. Streisand).

Roger the backstabber will jerk the Sox around to up the $$$ from the Yanks and come back to get his support hose handed to him by Curt Schilling as the Sox win the pennant. There I said it.