I'm Putting You on Notice...

My man, Stephen Colbert, is always pumping out his "Threat Downs","On Notice" and "Wag of the Finger" lists, with an emphasis on the obvious and deadly dangers of bears. Good clean fun. So, I figured since I'm on this list tangent that'd I'd pile on to the grand tradition of Letterman and company and wack the list panata, high and hard.

I'm Putting This Crap on Notice...
Let's start with "So You Think You Can Dance" a show that my wife occasionally watches (guilt by association). Last night a lovely, giant, non-dancing, black girl was voted into the finals at the expense of a vivacious, technically refined dancer of a lighter hue...hmmm...presto, "America Can't Judge Dance", my new show.

Mayor Bloomberg. The good Mayor has chosen to insanely support Con Ed during the recent blackouts in the outer (less importante) burroughs. His Bloomieness also runs his Bloomberg Company like a Nazi war criminal with a dash of slavemaster chucked in (I have my sources). On notice sir!

The Philadelphia Phillies and Baltimore Orioles, two once proud baseball franchises, are now reduced to salary dumping waste pools of unwatchable sports effluvium. Poor fans, poorer management...on notice!

Any giant American tech company that directs my product support phone call to some guy in the jungles of India who wouldn't know a WiFi modem from a bowl of curry...nefarious outsourcing sirs, on notice!

Donald Rumsfeld, who,yesterday, before a Senate Committee, told us once again how well planned and effectively executed the administration's Iraqui war policy has been...do I even have to say it?

Owen Wilson. One more film like "Me You and Dupree" and I'm kicking you to the curb with the likes of Keanu Reeves, Bennifer Affleck and the inimitable Robert Deniro in the Sell-out Hall of Shame" where you will be sentenced to an eternity of watching your latest lame-o film over and over again while lying in the gutter covered with your own excrement...I said it...On Notice!
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