Friday, December 29, 2006

Presidential

It's been over a week since I've freshened the "Collar"...feels like a month. Was watching the news last night when I saw John Edwards announcing his run for president. I kind of like the guy and his contemporized version of "ask not what your country..", the JFK message.

John is a look-good, feel-good kind of candidate. But one small wardrobe detail bothered me. Guys like Dick Nixon in his funeral-ready grey suit or George Bush in an Air Force jump suit (draft dodger) get away with a lot on the satorial front. But my man John just made the tiniest mistake that shed doubt on his campaign. While Barack gets all the media hype and Hillary wrings her hands overObama's candidacy, Edwards has a shot to be the candidate who is neither of them. Not black, female or the son of a former prez, just a smart, good looking, evolved southernboy. Wearing a nice royal blue shirt, not too fancy but showing a lot more fashion sense than say Gerald Ford bouncing head-first down a flight of stairs as he existed an airplane. It was obvious that Edwards was trying to get casual and connect on a genuine, rich-guy-meets-everyman level, the anti-John Kerry. Then he did this thing with the cuffs of his shirt. As he strode into position for his vital campaign kick-off speech I saw the blue shirt, the well coifed hair and then the cuffs... he didn't just roll them up like the Duke, John Wayne, or even disgraced Congressman, Randall "Duke" Cunningham, he did the one roll French cuff thing. Yikes! He was sporting the casual fancyboy look as opposed to the "let's roll-up our sleeves and get to work" blue-collar move I think he was going for. He added a flourish, a fancy "let's just chill at the polo match, flourish. Roll em'up like a man, not some hedge-fund guy from Greenwich relaxing at the spa or some dandy of an executive from Etee Lauder on an off-site. Now one little satorial faux pas has me questioning everything about this guy.
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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Dream Girls

"Dream Girls", haven't seen it, probably won't. The music industry bio-pic is one of my least favorite genres. Though about as conceptually interesting as Sly Stallone stepping into the ring again, "Dream Girls" does represent an obvious movie industry trend. Hollywood has found a new cash cow, bio-pics of 60's music stars, featuring the redesigned Johnny Cash, Ray Charles and now the Supremes. Dating back to "A Coal Miner's Daughter" and the "Rose" (with some clunkers like the "Doors" thrown in),this stuff has filled seats and won awards. We can now look forward to Beyonce winning an Oscar, (an affront to any legitimate actor), and seeing a flick on the Four Tops or Sly Stone at a cineplex near you in the very near future. Anybody seen Diana Ross lately? Scary stuff!
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Monday, December 18, 2006

Stocking stuffers....


Saw where Miss America was sent packing by the "Donald" for alternately doing drugs and dudes at various nightspots in the Big Apple. Personally I don't have a problem with her behavior. She is the embodiment of today's American values and, if he weren't already married, the "Donald" would probably be doing her too.

Saw the end of the latest Survivor last night. The winner was a guy named Yul. All the talk was about representin' the each contestant's race (Asian and Hispanic finalists), which I took as a marketing push by the show's producers to justify their original race-baiting team alignment.

Speaking of troubled producers. Isiah Thomas has managed to pull the Knicks even deeper into their stanky swamp of ineptitude. Seems the coach and GM may have directed his charges to exact some street justice just prior to the Knicks/Nuggets recent brawl...


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Friday, December 15, 2006

big ears obama

Barack Obama must be worrying someone. Rush Limbaugh is attacking him on the critical national security issue of... his ears. (click here)

George Bush makes a speech delaying the announcement of his new plan for the Iraq conflict after having a mere three years to get the thing in its current disfunctional state. George also confuses Iran and Iraq in his "deep deliberations" speech.

Red Sox nation is abuzz after the signing of Japanese pitching ace, Dice K. (seen in the photo accompanying this post in a fashion-forward, size 4, woman's winter parka as he arrives in Beantown) Mr. Matsuzaka will also wear the No. 18, a set of digits previoulsy worn by an individual who is now dead to me (hint - initials J.D.).

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

It's that time...

Every year about this time I'm engulfed by the glow of Christmas. My holiday state of mind kicks into high-gear when we have our first stressed out "how do we juggle the two families" scheduling discussion. I find Christmas to be a travel and scheduling nightmare, not to mention a shallow, materialistic, shopping splooge-fest. The only time I find peace is the moment of blissful obliviousness that directly follows my consumption of my eighth or ninth high octane eggnog at the annual in-law's gift exchange. Oh, the holidays.
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Monday, December 11, 2006

Rosie

I get confused sometimes. This whole Danny Devito drunk on The View deal has my tired beer-addled brain spinning. When did Rosie O'Donnell get resurrected as a leader of Daytime Television-engorged womanhood? Ellen Degeneres does a little white-people dancing, and soccer moms everywhere tune-in. Where's the gay-hating, liberal-bashing, Rush Limbaugh-worshiping America we all have seen win recent Presidential elections? I guess the men in the household are doing all the voting. American dads are fighting the good fight, arm-in-arm with Bill O'Reilly -- his "Culture Warrior" sitting atop their Christmas gift list as they put themselves on the Amazon.com wait-list for Don Rumsfeld's forthcoming tome, "Killing Other People's Kids, Through Stupidity and Arrogance." Bathed in the radio-fertilized, hate-based, political cauldron they call a carpool, America's dads must be angrily driving back and forth from their nowhere jobs each day grumbling about gay marriage and not talking about it over dinner. How else can we explain mom's love of Oprah, and Rosie (her last job was producer of "The Big Gay Show" on Logo), and Ellen -- all who -- in some way -- represent the killing of traditional, white America through progressive, liberal behavior? I'm just asking the questions here...now I'm off to the fridge for a daytime libation. Stay away from that clicker...
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Friday, December 08, 2006

I know it's lame...

Prediction...or is it predilection... K-Fed will get a subscription to Parenting Magazine to solidify his position as "father of the year" and to keep the titty-bar allowance flowing from the "panty-free" lady. Britney will revert to a more demure, doting mom persona, and begin to dress like Barbara Bush -- as her divorce hearing gets nearer, and she tries to resuscitate both her image and her recording career.
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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Julio Lugo and Nancy Drew

My Red Sox made a couple of moves yesterday, signing Julio Lugo and J.D. Drew. Lugo is a good hitting, bad fielding 31 year old shortstop and Drew is an oft injured, very good all-around outfielder (sometimes referred to as Nancy Drew due to his reluctance to play injured). The total price tag, $22,000,000 per year...mercy. Checkbook baseball has engulfed the "nation". Somebody in the Red Sox front office must have read that old George Steinbrenner bio, "I Can Buy the Pennant Anytime I Want". Winning can justify any expenditure, but the signings, combined with the Japanese pitcher deal will necessitate that I give up the moral high ground on the payroll issue, which unfortunately means I now have to come up with a whole new Red Sox vs. Yankees rap. Dang! I have about six doormen around the city lying in wait for me to question these deals...and I have no rap.

Oh, and the 'Manny being Manny' trade dance is still on-going. I would prefer Manny stay with the Sox regardless of his wavering loyalties and flagging competitive fire. That crazy mofo can hit.
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Monday, December 04, 2006

Paltrow, Putin , Taco Bell and me...

Now I hate Gwyneth Paltrow as much as the next guy but her "the Brits are so much more sophisticated" drivel is so unimportant I don't know why I'm posting about it...I guess everyone's done with those Dixie Chicks.

Bush dumps another lump of coal, I mean U.N. Ambassador Bolton. If Bush dumps one more angry white man there'll just be no fun to be had at that White House Christmas Party this year...except the holiday comedy stylings of one Dick "Mistletoe" Cheney.

Taco Bell's new E.Coli Enchilada Plate...Just one bite and you're good to go..and go...and go...

Can I get a side order of polonium 210 with that burrito?

What do they do with Valery Putin if they prove he's been contracting hits? Cancel his visa?
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Friday, December 01, 2006

The wind betwix my loins...

Speculation here at "The Collar", is that Alexander Litvinenko got dosed with polonium obtained from the Russian black market, (a logical assumption even given our limited analytical capabilities). In a 'Bergen County meets Stalingrad' parallel, Vlad Putin probably pulled a Tony Soprano on this one, whereby he mentioned his disdain for Litvinenko while draining his love pony in a Moscow men's room while surrounded by former KGB sycophants looking to move up in Putin's esteem. No direct connection to The Don. Now that the international press is all over the story, look for several more bodies to show up...including Big Pussy's.

What's the deal with all the panty-less exposure Britney and Paris are copping? Is this the new celebrity "branding"?

George Bush is supporting the global fight against aids by endorsing abstinence as "the only sure way" to avoid spreading HIV. I presume he understands how this conveys his profound understanding of the gay and African communities. Genius!

Danny Devito called the Prez "numbnuts" or some such thing on "The View" the other day. At least he was wearing underwear.
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