Wednesday, September 27, 2006

ten things killing my America...













10. Jamba Juice

9. Mega monopolies. They're everywhere. Sucking up and everything in their path, facilitated by every Republican from Reagan to Bush...their pockets filled with cash.

8. Contemporary music. Clay Aiken and Fergie. Enough said.

7. The Iraq war. Let's fight terror over there instead of over here. Create thousands of Jihadists to help stop terrorism...it's a plan...

6. Reality TV.

5. MTV

4. Dane Cook. Keep this lame-ass, no talent, dipshit outta my way....

3. Katie Couric. See Dane Cook....

2. Evangelical Christians, if only because they support George Bush and several other facist, Nazi, purveyors of hate and intolerance...the real Axis of Evil....

1. Branding. Everything is about the brand. Wear that Abercrombie and Fitch you brainless fashion whores...slap on those Geox shoes and the latest handbag, stick your fingers down you throat and barf-up some of that good old American culture while you drop a couple of pounds so you can squeeze into those Juicy jeans....

Whew, now that that's done I can go back to watching NFL Football and eating my Kraft Mac & Cheese.
g

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Assorted Mixed Nuts....


Been listening to the new Kasabian cd, "Empire". Doesn't seem to have the singles of their last record but has some nice hooks and rocks nicely. Downloaded some more Eagles of Death Metal.

See where Bill O'Reilly says he was on an Al Queda death list...visions of grandeur and self delusion will take you right to the top Billy Boy.

Did anyone see Venezuelan Pres Chavez sniffing the air for the devil at the U.N.? Chavez and the Iranian Prez are working day and night to make G.W. look good...and God help us, it's working.

Oh...on the apropos of nothing front...I just thought my handful of readers would like a picture of a sweet little bunny.

g

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

If I needed hair gel this could be a problem...













A high ranking British Intelligence agent and explosive expert blows-up the myth of the recent "liquid bomb" threat in Europe. LINK
Shoe bombs, exploding baby's milk, dangerous hair gel bombs...if this is the next wave of terror I'm feeling a little safer. If we keep busting these "masterminds" maybe I can safely pack my Rogaine and Astroglide for that vacation trip to Turkey to see the Pope when he's over there.

eagles of death metal


Josh Homme describes his band as "bluegrass slide guitar mixed with stripper drum beats and Canned Heat vocals".

Good stuff.
g

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Sunday Sermon


All hail Sunday...time to expell my weekly political gasball. Here's are some thoughts:




Are we frightened enough yet to vote Republican? One more speech by George W. and I'll have to make a special trip to my local Sam's Club for that 50 Pack of Depends.

What is up with the Pope? Maybe something was lost in the translation. If Catholics can't figure out what the hell their own Pontiff is saying, what are these Islamic wackos so upset about.... but really, what were he and his handlers thinking? This is Mel Gibson with a degree in theology weaving some confusing analogy from hell...and Islam...Islam is like an illiterate 4 year old with an insecurity complex exacerbated by hyper tension, a hair-trigger temper and no Ritenlin...a tantrum waiting to happen. They don't need facts just some crayons and an Uzi. Somebody whip up a bad cartoon to draw some of the car bombers away from the Popester...where's Salman Rushdie when we need him?

Does anyone know what the Dems are pushing other than "not Bush"? My man Joe Biden is definitely not getting enough face-time on network news.

Is Anderson Cooper traipsing around Afganistan really stirring up America? I think everyone, including Don Rumsfeld, would agree we are done with Kabul let's ignore the resurgent Taliban and maybe they'll go away.

What happened to that big lobbying scandal with Jack "the wack" Abramoff? Bob Ney is the only guy they got? God forbid somebody has oral sex somewhere in D.C. we can start a real investigation. Is there a rug big enough to sweep the stench of this one under?

The Bushies are still plotting to bomb Iran, oy.

It'll take me 40 minutes to get to Sam's Club. I hope I make it.
g

Friday, September 15, 2006

Popeye, Spinach, E.Coli, T.V. news and moi...


Why is it that a 70 year old dude died from eating some bad spinach last week, dozens of people are sick and the national news agencies, and particularly television news, is just getting around to warning the nation...and why is it that when you flip from one local or national news program to another they will all be running the exact same story, be it fashion gossip, carjacking, child molestation whatever, within two minutes each other? Do television news producers call each other or email a list of stories complete with b-roll to all their competitors? Is this a conspiracy? Is big brother running all these t.v. news programs...hmmm that still doesn't explain Fox News...

Oh and can anybody i.d. the guy who's picture accompanies this post?
g

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Borat Video

Borat's report from the homeland.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Sasha Cohen, Borat and Bush


Sasha Baron Cohen's character, Borat, has pissed off the government of Kazakhstan. The negative portrayal of Kazakhstan is compelling President Nazarbayev to visit George Bush to discuss Borat and his impact on Kazakhstan's image. The two influencial world leaders will discuss this pressing international embarassment over a bluefish dinner at the Bush family's Maine compound later this fall. Bush foreign policy takes another big step forward.

g

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Walk away with your winnings



Sitting here in NYC and watching some of yesterday's 9/11 memorial services and the president's speech last night I came to the realization that we, the people of NYC, are no more safe than we were prior to 9/11 and are probably at more risk than ever. We will all hear the Republican administration tell us that we haven't had a major terrorist attack on American soil in 5 years and credit their security measures and the war in Iraq as the major contributing factors. Well I have to admit that, now and again, I have been know to hit the craps and roulette tables of various gambling dens across this great land and if there is one thing I have learned from these endeavors it is to walk away from the table when you are up, cuz sooner or later the house wins, your luck runs out and you have to pay the man... So let's put our winnings in the bank , count our blessings, fortifiy our ports, airlines, nuke plants and borders and get on that bus out of Atantic City (Iraq) with the rest of the blue hairs and stop tempting fate...Let's not confuse luck and timing with expertise and planning.

g

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Sunday Sermon...the search for Bin Laden


As the Bush administration beats the terrorism drum like a dead horse trying to scrounge up enough fear and paranoia to eke out the necessary wins in the fall elections to maintain control of Congress, Bin Laden luxuriates in a hut or cave somewhere in northern Pakistan. It looks increasingly like 'America's Most Wanted' will die of natural causes before the Bush posse even gets another whiff of his whereabouts. Here's a good article from the Washington Post outlining some of the changes in man-power, technology and strategy the U.S. government has employed in the hunt for Bin Laden, but the trail has been allowed to go cold...
LINK

Ultimately the Bush/Cheney shift of manpower and focus to Iraq lost us our best shot at Bin Laden. The harsh mountainous terrain of the region and tribal support are difficulties that have been compounded by our shift of resources to Iraq, our incompetent and feuding intelligence agencies and our inability to motivate our Pakistani (supposed) allies. All we can hope for now is a fatal attack of kidney stones.
g

Friday, September 08, 2006

Just tell me where it hurts...

Had to run out and see a movie edited by one of our old buddies who has become a Hollywood guy.

I should have known that this was an ill-fated film viewing endeavor when a guy, some European guy, jumped in front of us at the ticket window to inquire where a film that was no longer showing at the theater had moved to, and astoundingly, the little old New Yorker lady in the booth started looking up this idiot's movie time in the NY Post. Forboding indeed. We eventually got in and joined the four other people in the theater who had paid to see the film.

Things started well, with our compadre having his editing credit nicely placed before the title of the film, director and screenwriter Neil Labute's remake of the 1970's quasi-horror film, "The Wicker Man". If you don't know him, Mr. Labute is a provocative filmmaker and playright with a reputation of being a practicing mysogynist.

On a positive note, Angelo Badalamenti, the composer from one of my faves, "Twin Peaks", created the soundtrack which set the mood with a "Shining" type vibe, however the film's star, Nick Cage, who now has the look of a guy who has made about 6 horribly misguided career choices in a row, took the film in another direction. Nick plays a terribly unsympathetic, confused, man-puppet (playing himself?), with hair and wig died an artificial, bottle-brown, fake teeth growing out of his mouth like he's some mutant hedgehog and a look on his face like he's in constant career-ending pain, which while reading Mr. Labute's dialogue, I'm sure he was.

The rest of the performances (200 year old Ellen Burstyn is the hottest chick in a flick dominated by women) are uniformly terrible. The only audience members frightened by the film are critics who must quake at the thought of Labute making another film. The movie builds no suspense and is ultimately, if anything, a comedy. Dialogue, which at times can be Labute's strength, turns on him in this turd, with much of the horror in the film emitting from people's mouths as they struggle to deliver this uncooked cheeseburger of a script. You just can't wait for Mr. Cage to stop running around in his bear-suit and get to his barbecue.

My final positive statement on this whole deal is that the film was very well edited.
g

Thursday, September 07, 2006

What's up with that...





So I'm working with a guy...maybe you'd call him a video editor...I just met him and he starts giving me just a little too much personal info...like he's a healthy eater...snap peas and carrots for snacks, like that, but some things get his goat. He goes into a supermarket and picks up a few items and then notes that the parsley or the goat cheese is reeeallllly overpriced, like I need rape counseling overpriced, so he pockets the item, pays for the rest and heads-out and on his way... a happy, righteous man. Klepto or consumer freedom fighter?
g

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Not Tuesday...


'Positive Tuesday' is over so let's get down to business.

The Bush administration has now made the current 'appeasers' comparisons stretch into the appeasement of Hitler, Stalin, Lenin, Boris Badenoff, Lex Luther, The Joker, Darth Vader and Wiley Coyote. Is this campaign really working?

Supernova has now become 'super-boring'.

Sox have won a couple, so hotdog and beer sales at Fenway will remain strong for a couple of more days...

Is Tom Cruise the devil...a short alien super-being...or just another lame star created by Hollywood's vast marketing machine who we should ignore and replace with the new Lassi or something?

Given his apparent lack of diplomatic skills, I think President Bush should challenge that Iranian Prez to a Texas Steel Cage Match and show the little terrorist twerp some Texas Steel Cage justice....

...and finally I hope they don't show the actual footage of 'The Crocodile Hunter's' demise...that I think, would be the final nail in the coffin of our civilization.
g

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Accentuate the positive...










I know I can be perceived to be a wee bit negative at times...sooo, in an effort to balance out both my kharma and approach I have decided to call this 'Let's Accentuate the Positive-Tuesday' and to endeavor to look at things from a more positive perspective. As we know in the blogoshpere, it's usually a good idea to start with a list. So here goes.

President Bush states that he's read 60 books this year. This number, though improbable, (to reach this total it would require something like two hours of reading a day from a man who has stated he doesn't even read the newspaper) at least shows he's aware of the issue and moving toward a solution, though that solution may include several pamphlets and flyers to help pad his total...this also points to his continued support of the "No Child Left Behind" education program... in this case the 'child' being him....

The Red Sox are out of the pennants race. The Sox demise has presented me with more spare time and an opportunity to read more books...

Tiger Woods has won 5 straight tournaments. Tiger has eliminated the market for anyone else's name on golf equipment, just think of all the ink and engraving costs the golf industry will save...

Looks like the Republicans may lose control of the Senate and maybe even the House in the upcoming fall election...no joke here...

Janet Jackson backs Hilary C for president. Don't know who this helps, or hurts, but at least she's shifted her support from Al Sharpton...I know I can always rely on Janet for the most astute political analysis...

more as 'Positive Tuesday' continues...
g

Monday, September 04, 2006

Holiday humor...













I got nothin' today so I thought I'd steal some jokes from others...here goes...

*They always throw around the term "liberal elite". And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right, what's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?
John Stewart

*We should take Iran and Iraq and combine them into one country and call it "Irate".
Denis Leary

*"It's easy to tell whose kids are gonna be messed up. If the kid calls his grandma 'Mommy' and his mama 'Pam', he's going to jail!"
Chris Rock

g