Coyote Hal Dies

Urban cowdog, and canus lupus cult hero, Coyote Hal, has died in captivity prior to his release into the wild.
Link

Bladderboy - The Final Conflict

It's taken a few days to muster the physical and psychic energy to write since I began my recovery from my ill fated gall bladder surgery. After a decades long relationship with my former compadre the final parting of the ways was a painful lesson in forced separation. There was an easy way and a hard way to go on this thing, but as in many break-ups, the hard way was, in the end, the only way. All the long festering differences and acrimony came to head in one inflamed and dangerous last encounter. Having survived the pain of that surgical separation I must now deal with the fallout with the aid of my trusty new friend (let's call him an "aquaintance") Mr. Vicodin.
So wish me luck and enjoy the spring weather.
Galli

The Meatball Coincidence

Loyal visitors may remember the disturbing yet poignant pictures of gallstones (see early March 06). It was a running joke that my gallstones may resemble swedish meatballs. Any time I saw the swedish staple, it was a gentle reminder of the little buggers that would soon be out of my system.

...Well, the breakup didn't go so well. The g-man did not want to say goodbye without a fight, and so it had to be cut out. With a chainsaw. So my first bite of solid food given to me in the hospital?

Swedish meatballs.

Oh, the coincidence!

So long, g-man,

Galli

Domenech Wiggles

Stinky 3-day stint at blog post, but as media mush-churning goes, this worm will come out smelling like a rose
LINK

Dick Cheney your suite is ready...

The Smoking Gun has uncovered Dick Cheney's rider that puts forth the vice presidential diva's basic hotel needs, which include, Sprite, sparking water for missus, 68 degrees on the old thermostat and all tv sets set to Fox News. Next I expect to hear he'll join Barbra Streisand on tour.
Galli

Goodbye Bladderboy

Tomorrow at around 11am, as I am wheeled out of an operating room, I will be...for the first time in my life, without the company of my longtime compadre, my gallbladder. I guess we'd had our disagreements over the years, though I didn't always heed his complaints, and our final falling out was over a piece of key lime cheesecake, I know I was running wild...it just had to stop.

So it's come to this and it's time to part ways, say so long. We've been through alot, me and the G-man, all those nights of fast cheese, potato chips and yes...steak, but now it's over. I've changed my fast-foodin' ways but way too late for the relationship, so one of us has to go. It finally came down to you or me.

So goodbye Bladderboy. It was a gastronomical joyride while it lasted.
All the best,
Galli

Tornado Teen

I've heard of teenagers going for a "joy ride" usually in someone else's car, but this ridiculous.
Tornado Teen

Galli

Coyote Captured

It didn't take long for the Parks Department of Gotham City to take our freedom seeking, urban loving buddy down, thus making the city safe for baby strollers and chihuahuas alike. LINK
Galli

More Piss From NY

The Smoking Gun has uncovered a diabolical military conspiracy to incapacitate New York City's police force.
LINK
I am obviously fixated on NYC today. T-minus 48 hours before operation "Gall Bladder" commences.
Galli

Coyote Terrorizes Upper East Side!

Grab your babies and lock up the cats, a coyote has come to town.
Story
Galli

Star Jones in Body Shop

Looks like Star Jones is laid up in the hospital following some...hmm...elective surgery.
I lose weight the organic way, gall stones.
Galli

Stephen Malkmus - Baby C'mon

There's some nice stop action animation in this music vid from Stephen Malkmus, "Baby C'mon"
The tunes not bad either.
Galli

Baseball...America's Pastime Outsourced

In a fitting end to the World Baseball Classic Japan defeated Cuba, 10-6, in the championship final. The only plus is that Castro can't claim a complete victory for his indentured amateur outfit.
Galli

A Tale of Two Afflecks

If anyone really cares...the Affleck boys have taken different paths on the Hollywood journey. FameTracker Story
Galli

George Bush Manly Man

It's what a man does in his formative years that can dictate his later behavior...like lending support to those who actually go forth into combat....Story
Galli

Buddha Boy Reappears

For any of you who missed his disappearance, here's another opportunity to get familiar with the famed Nepalese Buddha Boy. Link

His devotees state that he has been meditating and fasting for 10 months and is immune to fire and snake bites. I don't know about fire and snakes but I believe he has fallen victim to the deadly McDonald's Happy Meal with jumbo softdrink deal now being offered at his local Kathmandu Micky D's.
Galli

Red Sox Trade Arroyo

The Sox traded a real cool guy, Bronson Arroyo, for a guy with another cool name, Wily Mo Pena who will combine with Coco Crisp to form one of the best name combos in Major League Baseball...Wily Mo and Coco. The only thing better would be if they were a double-play combination.
Galli

Paulie Walnuts Revealed

Soprano's star and alleged actor, Tony Siroco, aka Paulie Walnuts, has a colorful past that includes stealing nickels, getting shot for a kiss and possibly knocking somebody off. The New York Post has more.
Galli

Belarussian Election Turnout

Remember the good old days when people actually voted. Now these elections in Belarus might turn out to be similar to Mayor Daley's old Chicago elections where folks interred in local graveyards came back to cast their votes for the Democrat of their choice, but it's still good to see the numbers (until they're discredited anyway). See below.
Galli

Turnout at Belarussian elections 92.6% - official

MINSK. March 19 (Interfax) - By 8 p.m., local time, the turnout at the Belarussian presidential elections was 92.6%, a Central elections Commission source told Interfax on Sunday. In the Brest region the turnout was 93%, 95% in the Vitebsk region, 05.6% in the Gomel region, 93.8% in the Grodno region, 92.6% in the Minsk region, 95.3% in the Mogilev region and 85.1% in the city of Minsk, the source said.

Venezuelans Pose Nude for Spencer Tunick

I seem to remember Spencer Tunick occasionally getting arrested around NYC for persuading out of work models, actors (this explains the larger number of people in his photos), and everyday types to pose nude in public places. At the time I think the act of coordinating the spectacle, avoiding arrest and getting people to drop trow as a group was much more exciting than the "end" result. Well, Spencer has gone on to become quite the artiste, with exhibits at all the major art museums. His latest triumph was getting 1,500 Venezuelan folks to give it up for art in front of a statue of Simon Bolivar...
All this from a guy from Middletown, NY.
I'm putting my pants back on now,
Galli

UFO

Here is irrefutable evidence of the existence of UFO's and alien life.... no not these guys. But this...
Galli

Pot in a New Package

California drug dealers tried to take pot product branding in a new direction only to be busted by the DEA.
Galli

World Baseball Classic

So after all the uproar -- who A-Rod is playing for (himself), which Latin team will dominate, how can "amateur" athletes compete against major league millionaires?...We get to the championship game -- no A-Rod, no Team Dominican Republic or Puerto Rico, no amateurs and lastly, no Americans! What has happened to "our" American Classic, that thinly-veiled promotional vehicle of Bud Selig and Major League Baseball? Japan reached the championship final by vanquishing their hated rival, Korea, and lo and behold their opponent is none other than Cuba who kicked the Mighty David Ortiz and his Dominican Superstar Buds in the behind and out the door. Is this a testament to Cuba's political system over ours, a win for the 50 cent ballplayers over the millionaires, or just another corporate marketing plan gone wrong?
Galli...out

South Park vs. Scientology

Now this is fun stuff. Dipshit Scientologists rushing to censure a show that trashes all manner of religious and political beliefs on a relatively equal basis. Is this type of powerplay by celebrity cult members a harbringer of things to come, as "artists" move to shape free speech to conform to their own religious and/or political beliefs? Just the list of the "celebrity" players in this episode is good for a smile, Isaac Hayes an Tommy Cruise together again....link.
Gallie

Ten Worst Actors

The recent Oscar's have inspired me to jot down a list of the ten worst actors (with a follow list of the ladies). These ratings are by no means based on any quantitative or emperical evidence and are purely personal preference supported by awful performances. Many have earned their places on this hallowed list after years after year of astonishingly bad acting. The least talented and most offensive are listed first, here we go:

ACTORS:
Little Steven
Jimmy Fallon*
Vin Diesel
Steven Seagal
Ben Affleck
Quentin Tarantino
Jean-Claude Van Damme
Sly Stallone
Adam Sandler
Chris Tucker/Wesley Snipes (bonus pick)

Regards,
Galli
*note: Jimmy shows great potential to move up to the top of list with additional screen credits.

Peggy Noonan Questions Bush Spending

Our esteemed Prez seems to be getting kicked from all sides, particularly in the behind from those whom you would think would have his back. Bush's spending on entitlements and the new Federal budget, which pushes the national debt to scary heights, has caused even die-hard Republicans to question his spending approach link.
Galli

Cruise Goes Ballistic

World renowned Scientologist and part-time actor, Tom Cruise , has managed to get a re-run of a South Park episode pulled from the schedule link.
Galli

Team USA loses to Mexico

In the ultimate baseball indignity Team USA, lead by ARod and Derek Jeter, fell 2-1 to Team Mexico thus concluding another disappointing international performance by a team representing the Red, White and Blue.
Sad, very sad,
Galli

Iraq War Heats Up

Massive Air Assault

Hasselhoff gets off

This is possibly the most appalling use of green screen and stock footage in a music video since 1983, but I find it bizarrely uplifting.
Hasselhoff "Hooked on a Feelin"
Galli

Increase National Debt - Why the Hell Not

The Washington campaign season is in full swing as Republicans and Democrats vote to increase spending. The Dems will add mucho dinero for education and healthcare while the Republicans concentrate their overspending on voter hot button topics like border and port security, thus adding another $781 billion to the national debt while blowing through the guardrail of the Bush administration's requested budget cap.
Politicos Increase Debt
Galli

Pierce Bush Speaks

What's that deal about "the apples don't fall too far from the tree". I think I'll let Pierce speak for himself. Pierce My Man
Galli

Let's launch this monkey!

Since only a select few (or none) were with me in the nascent, early days of this blog, I thought I would repost my very first cry for help. Here it goes....

I'm a lifelong Bosox fan stuck in NYC surrounded by puffed up Yankee fans gloating over the prospects of their latest edition of a checkbook baseball team. Disappointment looms in the Apple (for Red Sox fans it's a lifestyle choice).

Also, Johnny Damon is dead to me. Looks like the Damons have the same hairdresser.

Note the Bon Jovi meets Goo Goo Dolls haircut.

On a more painful note:
I've got gallstones and it ain't pretty. I can only consume all the "low" and "non" stuff on the menu and I've got to wait three weeks to get the offending bladder removed. Can't drink, no coffee, no dairy, no fat and everywhere I go in the streets I'm confronted with people carrying pizza boxes- big ones, individual ones, and stacks of the things....it ain't pretty! Can't wait to gorge myself on high cholesterol, low-fiber crap foods so I can blow up like a giant piñata.

Check out these gallstones next to the first cell phone ever made. They're strangely remniscent of swedish meatballs.

Having to sit here today watching bad movies on TV has made it blatantly obvious how empty, shallow and pointless contemporary existence can be. I wish I could just get up out of the Barcalounger and do something productive but this big vat of cheesedoodles in my lap prevents all meaningful movement - just a dream.

Gotta go!
Galli

Johnny Damon is dead to me

I know this is bad karma but I don't think it counts since the man is dead to me...Damon Out
I can only hope J.D. makes a quick recovery...say in about six months...
Galli

Russian Bird Flu Theory

Russian Communist leader sees U.S. behind bird flu outbreak

MOSCOW. March 14 (Interfax) - Russian Communist party leader Gennady Zyuganov has blamed the United States for the spread of avian influenza, or bird flu, in a number of European countries, including Russia.

"The forms of warfare are changing. It's strange that not a single duck has yet died in America - they are all dying in Russia and European countries. This makes one seriously wonder why," Zyuganov said at a press conference at the Interfax main office on Tuesday. Zyuganov said that he has good knowledge of war gases as he dealt with them during his army service.
"I tested all kinds of war gases at a range myself," he said.

Asked to be more precise as to whether he believes the bird flu outbreak could be a deliberate attack by the U.S., Zyuganov answered positively.
"I not only suggest this, I know very well how this can be arranged. There is nothing strange here," he said.

I think Gennady may have inhaled a little something during his army service,
Galli

Warning Political Rant: presidential choice

Ever get the feeling you're stuck on a merry-go-round devoid of political choice? On one side are the "the ends justify the means" Republicans saddled with the Bush administration's screw-ups facing off with the cynical, unlikeable Hillary Dems saddled with old Bill C.'s indiscretions, while both sides rely on the poll numbers to determine which way to yank on the leash of their traditional constituencies.

John McCain, the former maverick Republican asks Straw Poll voters to vote for G.W., what's my man thinking? Mitt Romney, Republican gov of my birth state, Massachusetts (Rep. Gov of the biggest Blue State of them all...oye vey), looks good in a suit but I don't feel the love. Senate Majority Leader, Bill Frist looks like the same old deal and won't play on either coast...John Kerry, Joe Biden, John Edwards, Newt Gingrich, been there- done that...George Pataki, just check out my NYS tax bill, lord help us...Mark Warner - sorta looks right...but I think we just haven't looked under the hood, so...no...wanna go through the guard rail on the left try Russ Feingold, on the right check out Dick Cheney. Wait...is Rudy gonna jump on this mystery train, oh, but he's Catholic...
My gallbladder hurts,
Galli out

Big Papi's Boys

Baseball icon David (Big Papi) Ortiz and his Dominican compatriots have advanced in the World Baseball Classic.
Viva Big Papi!
Dominican Win
Galli

My Man Pat

Don't take the eastcoast, lefto media's filtered take on my man Pat Robertson as fact. For a real look at how crazy this God-fearing cat really is, check out the man's own website where truth runs free like a spring-fed mountain stream.
Just Pat
Galli

Iran Nuclear Cracks

Looks like some dissent may be brewing in Iran. One can only hope.
IRAN NUKE DISSENT
Galli

My kitty cat...

Bury me in used kitty litter if I ever blog about a pet...cat, turtle, goose, ferret, platypus or canary...now my gallbladder on the other hand...
Galli (and no, that's not my cat)

Robot Mule

I have finally stumbled upon an invention that might get me back into that age-old exercise of backpacking. My previous backpacking experience has involved minor knee injuries, plunges into freezing Adirondack streams, lean-to feuds, snow and ice covered spring trails, summer tents in winter and sharing tents with associates who's digestive systems didn't adapt well to freeze dried food immersed in a frothy Hunter's sauce (and the resulting gaseous turmoil). Whatever, check out this new mechanized friend. Note video might take some time to load.
Robot Mule
Enjoy,
Galli

Iran

President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad may be stepping on a few toes in his own power structure (clerics). The man was elected on promises of corruption and economic reform which appealed to millions of poor Iranians. He has now embarked on major spending programs, a weapons development program (nukes) and rhetoric that demonizes the West, Israel and Europe. Hmmm...free spending, military sabre rattling and inflammatory nationalistic rhetoric are some techniques employed by a more local administration, but I digress.

Needless to say Mahmoud may be challenging Brittany and Jessica Simpson for headlines this year (as unfortunate as that may be for most Americans).

Here's the lay of the land as the Washington Post sees it.
IRAN
Heavy stuff,
Galli

March Madness

It's that time again... and I don't mean the results of the Republican Straw Poll are in. It's college b-ball's festival of love or tournament of pain depending on who you got in the pool. I traditionally fill out my bracket with unrestrained glee, trash talking to, and generally denigrating lesser humans, who in the past have scoffed at my choice of Bucknell or Holy Cross for the Final Four. I'm usually down half my picks before I can get to the water cooler. Well this year will be different, I may even pay-off when I lose. So without further adieu my Final Quartet:
Memphis
Duke
UConn
and the national champs...my Beantown homies... Bahston College!
Go BC and peace out,
Galli

Bird Flu Facts and Fantasy

This one is for all you Bird Flu fanatics out there. Seems like I have been fixated on birds for the past few days and I have been annoyed at the shrill honkings of the pandemic crowd. Here's a fairly rational look at the B Flu from those threatened "downunder".
Bird Flu Myths & Facts
Well I'm off to warn the village about the Mad Cow pandemic, though I'm immune at this point (gallbladder problemo presently prevents red meat consumption). I think I'll put a porterhouse on lay-away.
Galli

Global Warming Gives God Sunburn

Looks like an interesting battle evolving over interpretation of the scriptures, science, politics and the treatment of God's Green Earth. Maybe G.W. will reconsider that Kyoto agreement after all...
Global Warming Hurts God

On a related note, Looks like the ice caps are melting right under our gas-guzzling noses. I think I can see the East River rising as I write...
Global Warming
Anyone say houseboat...
Galli

Blogging Hope

Just unearthed this great article on life as a Blogger. ProBlogger.

Mr. Rowse seems to have been quite successful, is in a great mood about it and is willing to share his insights with neophyte, wannabe, bloggers such as my craggy-assed old self. Great stuff!
Galli

USA triumphs over Japan...

The millionaire US team took advantage of a home field umpiring call to whip Japan in the second round of the World Baseball Classic. A stunned Japanese team almost didn't take the field after their baserunner on third was called out in the eigth inning of a tie game for leaving third base to soon on a potential sacrifice fly to left. Nice to see our American umpiring team pull their weight in getting the win.
Team USA Triumphs
Oh, in the really big game, Puerto Rico shut down David, "Big Papi", Ortiz and team Dominican Republic 7 to 1.
Galli

Helen Gurly Brown endorses bird sex...

Being a long birder (thanks to my mom's expert tutelage) I can appreciate a good avian love story. In this case it looks like the famed NYC red-tailed hawks, Pale Male and Lola, have relocated to the spires of the Westside digs of Helen Gurly Brown and John McEnroe. The birds have been been finding sexual inspiration outside classic sex expert Brown's windows.

Thanks for to the NY Post for uncovering this sexcapade.
Hawk Nookie
Galli

Bush Oil Ally Resigns...

Interior Secretary, Gale Norton, resigned effective end of March. Norton who opened up Federal lands to oil and gas drilling and advocated drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge as part of President Bush's "Energy Plan" "hopes to end up closer to the mountains we love in the west." Her resignation probably has nothing to do with her agencies indian casino lobbying scandal. I hope she finds a nice spot out west with a striking view of an oil rig.
Home to the Mountains
Galli

Pierce Bush

Don't look now but it appears there are more Bush-Boys in the political pipeline. Pierce is the son of Neal Bush who I believe was an unindicted contributor to the Savings & Loan scandal of yesteryear. Pierce characterizes the opposition to the now dead Dubai Ports Deal as "racist".
Pierce Bush Dubai Rant
Galli

A day in the life of Natalie Portman

If you missed this Natalie Portman bit from Saturday Night Live (does anyone watch it) here's the link.
Natalie Raps
Out,
Galli

USA...USA...USA...

The USA entry in the World Baseball Classic (I use the term "Classic" loosely) is back from the brink of expulsion after losing to those hockey-pucks, the Canadian team, earlier this week. Team USA will be saved from ignominious elimination by those "Flying Wildebeests" from down Capetown way, team South Africa, who sport an amalgamation of players not heard of in these parts. The Southies should offer little resistance to our American millionaires (quite unlike the fringe yet feisty Canadians).

So unless Nelson Mandela comes rushing out of the bullpen to start the game, Team USA should move on to the next round. Check out the South African team mascot below.

Galli

Rat-Squirrel lives...

We thought he was extinct but the popular Laotian rat-squirrel is back and better than ever!
Rat-Squirrel story
Galli

Predators return to New England...

Having spent time in my "youth" in Maine and now being a member of the "weekend gentry" in the Catskills, I've developed an ingrained appreciation of our region's great predatory animals, both past and present. A food chain is only as good as the guy at the top so let's support the big guys getting back into the game. There have been rumours of mountain lion sightings in the Catskills Catskills Puma and now I see the other top-of-line eastern predator the gray wolf has been spotted up north Wolf Sighting in ye olde state of Maine. Great news. Now if we can just get our gun toting friends to hold off blowing them away for a few years we just might have something here...
Hold on to your pelts,
Galli

The Galbert Report...

A sidelight to my upcoming gallbladder surgery...my good friend, Johnny B, has requested the use of my offending bladder in one of his "art" projects, slowcrack.com. Which has raised the concept in my bile addled brain for my own art project featuring my soon to be removed organ in a clear glass container, entitled the "The Fourth Wiseman". More later...
Galli

An anti-Hummer stand...

Seems a bunch of indie rock bands have taken an anti-Modby/Sting stand by turning down lucrative deals to sell the rights to their tunes for use in a Hummer commercial. Bands and performers have historically amped up sales and exposure of their music (brand) by selling rights to songs for use in big ugly commercials. Looks like the "sellout" trend has created a "green" ethical backlash...check the article out
LINK
Galli

Texans continue to screw the pooch...

Texans must have their collective heads up their proverbial tuckuses.
link
The fact that a crook of Delay's magnitude still holds political sway over the herd (I guess this is only Republicans at this point) is testament to the Lone Star's states virulent independence and blind obedience to their homegrown steerbangers (see g.w.bush).
Hey watch those horns!!
Galli

Not Coldplay....

For help surviving the cold, hard winter, or as musical cold medication check out Scandinavian troubaudor Jens Lekman (good tune - Black Cab), Brit rockers Arctic Monkey, Canadian alt rockers Broken Social Scene, southern alt phenoms My Morning Glory, or my favorite retro/hippy-musical-pick-me-up...The Dandy Warhols.

Hope this helps your head.
Galli

Yanni arrested after domestic dispute

This just caught my eye, sorry I can't add link right now. The skinny is that Yanni allegedly tried to kick his girlfriend out of his apartment, she says he assaulted her and he states that she kicked him and hurt his pinky. What is the world coming to when the king of mellow, insipid, unlistenable, tripe is forced to these extremes...our society has finally run totally aground...
Galli

The Yankees are Satan's team and more...

The Evil Empire that is the NY Yankees always has to win, second place is never, never enough. As a Red Sox fan from birth, I have learned to accept life's disappointments and shortfalls, quite unlike the aging Satan (Steinbrenner) who leads the devils workmen (Yankees). I fear for his health (he is looking a little like Sadam when he came out of his hole in the ground) as the Yankeroos embark on another journey through the American League, over-burdened with bloated expectations and an aging pitching staff.

T-shirt seen at Red Sox spring training:
Johnny Damon - Looks like Jesus - Acts like Judas - Throws like Mary...
Embrace your disappointments,
Galli

Meatballs everywhere...

So I have this gallbladder problem which prohibits me from knoshing on anything meaningful. My wife has a niece who needed to pick up some furniture at Ikea in Paramus NJ, the urban equivalent of a gallbladder. Store is filled with thousands of voracious shoppers their carts overflowing with wooden clothes hangers, unassembled furniture and impulse buys...the place is a Disneyworld for shopping junkies and freaks who like to use a screwdriver. Anyway, back to the gallbladder...as we are checking out we see giant signs and large hanging photos for Ikea's fine culinary products, hotdogs, soups and last but not least...ahhhh...Swedish meatballs.


Gallstones in bladder









May I mangle a quote from Buckaroo Banzai and the Eighth Dimension, "remember, no matter where you go, there they are...".
Galli

Oh my aching Oscars...

I'm kicking myself for watching the always disappointing Oscars. The much awaited hosting gig by Jon Stewart could have been great but was...not so much so....at least early on as the sonambulent Hollywooders tried to figure out his humor. Best actor went to a guy (Philip Seymour - it always helps to have three names - Hoffman) who you presume is gay but isn't...playing a writer (with a funny voice - acting) who was really gay, while the loser was an obviously very straight gaucho (Aussie with cowboyish accent - more acting) who played it the other way and had to smooch a dude (which I guess is more acting). If the gay sheeplover's perfomance didn't get the Heathster an Oscar I guess its back to "A Knights Tale"... On the Best Actress front, Felicity Huffman, who in real life is not an attractive woman, played a very unattractive dude (with funny voice - more acting) but got beat by Reese Witherspoon (southern belle) playing her (southern belle) aunt or something with a black wig (acting...maybe not so much) with knda her real voice (even less acting). Best picture went to Crash because it had more Hollywood types in it...a victory for numbers and diversity in the year of socially relevent and meaningful "small" films. George Clooney got to mug alot and the Three 6 Mafia channeled a little "Westside Story" meets the Source Awards.

Later..
Galli

let's launch this monkey!

Some random thoughts...

I'm a lifelong Bosox fan stuck in NYC surrounded by puffed up Yankee fans gloating over the prospects of their latest edition of a checkbook baseball team. Disappointment looms in the Apple (for Red Sox fans it's a lifestyle choice).

Also, Johnny Damon is dead to me. Looks like the Damons have the same hairdresser.

Note the Bon Jovi meets Goo Goo Dolls haircut.

On a more painful note:
I've got gallstones and it ain't pretty. I can only consume all the "low" and "non" stuff on the menu and I've got to wait three weeks to get the offending bladder removed. Can't drink, no coffee, no dairy, no fat and everywhere I go in the streets I'm confronted with people carrying pizza boxes- big ones, individual ones, and stacks of the things....it ain't pretty! Can't wait to gorge myself on high cholesterol, low-fiber crap foods so I can blow up like a giant piñata.

Check out these gallstones next to the first cell phone ever made. They're strangely remniscent of swedish meatballs.

Having to sit here today watching bad movies on TV has made it blatantly obvious how empty, shallow and pointless contemporary existence can be. I wish I could just get up out of the Barcalounger and do something productive but this big vat of cheesedoodles in my lap prevents all meaningful movement - just a dream.

Gotta go!
Galli