Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Bush vs Webb in the steel cage...

Saw this news story (link) relating an almost-brawl between GW and the newly minted Senator Webb of Virginia. Seems they were having a chat about Webb's son who is fighting the insurgency over in Iraq. I would walk my check over to Time Warner forthwith if we could schedule that bout. The real test of a "war president" is how he does in a Texas-style wrasslin' match with a fellow lawmaker. What da we think here, Bush vs Webb, who da'man?
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Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Rachael Ray Sucks

This post is a holiday follow-up to my heart warming Thanksgiving missive bashing the ubiquitous, pop culture nightmare that is Rachael Ray. I have now found an organization that shares my malevolent feelings toward the culinary paperweight.

Rachael Ray Sucks Community
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Monday, November 27, 2006

Al Sharpton, Britney and the KGB...

Rough times ahead for some cops here in old NYC. Seems some undercover cops and their associates dropped 51 shells on a group of guys leaving the Kalua Cabaret (translate strip club) in Queens. The story makes for some tragically great headlines. "Unarmed Groom Gunned-Down on Eve of Wedding". The deceased was no angel and may have tried to run down one of the cops a couple of times but who can say the deadman even realized he was dealing with the law when the guys with the shields look like Mickey Rourke after a rough weekend. Al Sharpton is leading the lynch mob. And I was just warming up to Al....

The story of the ex KGB agent poisoned with polonium-210 is so juicy you know we'll be seeing it on every last one of the 279 CSI's and Law and Orders. The story behind the story is the bogus bombings that the Russian government staged to create the public outcry that allowed them to crush the Chechen separatist movement. Old school KGB stuff is coming back in style.

Saw the pix on Page Six of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears out carousing, boobs akimbo. I love when two great franchises come together to form an even more powerfully shallow entity. Sort of like Time Warner merging with AOL...the synergies and economies of scale are just so compelling...blurp...look out for those polonium cocktails ladies...

America ain't it grand.
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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

White meat or dark?


I hate Rachel Ray. She advises making turkey breast for Thanksgiving. I like dark meat. Please make a whole bird or eat steak. Saw Gwen Stefani on the tube last night as she entered the American Music Awards, or some such thing. Gwen had on a $14 Jean Harlow wig and some beyond-bug-eyed shades - I think her fashion ship may have sailed. I beginning to doubt that my Bosox are going to get this Japanese pitcher signed...just a feeling. Did some heavy clearing at the bunker - looks like a new place. I predict the giant Snoopy balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade will be blown out of it's handlers grasp and it will head straight to France.

Enjoy the feast.
g

Monday, November 20, 2006

Bushwacked

Bunker compound required severe brush and deadfall maintenance - winter is here.Snow last night but no glimpse of the reputed meteor shower.
Pats crushed the Pack 35 - zip. Sweet.
Sox lost Gonzo, last years defensive whiz at short, to Reds in free agency.
Saw some of Tom Brokaw's Discovery Channel feature on Iran. Program is both fascinating and scary, but why do I think Billy Clinton could reason with these folks?
Mega-star-freakazoid, Tom Cruise, got married in a celebrity-filled mock ceremony in Italy. (Pictures will be sold shortly.) It turns out he was married earlier in Cali because Scientology doesn't recognize weddings conducted in Italy...other planets yes, Italy, no. Go figure.
Henry Kissinger states an Iraq military victory is impossible, George Bush is in Vietnam blathering on about victory...if we can dig up Robert McNamara and LBJ we can have a quorum and finally figure this Iraq deal out.
Later - g

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Stay what course?

Saw Georgie-boy over in Singapore tapping on a xylophone type deal with a wooden mallet. I'll be damned George didn't do a bang up job creating a melody that bespoke both peace and harmony. The Decider then basked in the warm Singaporean applause in perhaps the high point of his second term. I presume the president refined his musical chops while a proud member of the Yale cheerleading squad. In a related story, the prez stopped by Vietnam to announce he'd like to send an additional 20K troops to Iraq and push on to victory...talk about the bizzarro world. Vietnam...victory?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Stuff

Saw the mysterious Mario Lopez and Emmitt Smith on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night. Jimmy kept trying to get some humor out of Emmitt's transition from NFL stud to ballroom dancer. Emmitt took this as another example of people not acknowledging his many faceted persona and repeatedly referred to Jimmy as being "a clown". The Jimster kept his cool let Emmitt have his way - but I had to wonder what the dynamic would have been if the roles were reversed and say a Peyton Manning called Arsenio Hall a clown...hmmm.
Of course I might have misinterpreted this whole thing do my substance abuse problem...(beer).

I know it's been touched on elsewhere but I just have to pile on Rush Limbaugh's, "I'm just so glad I don't have to carry the water for these guys anymore..." shtick. How does one of the most popular talk radio hosts admit to his audience that he has been defending policy and politicians that he, himself, knew to be crap and still maintain the undying support of said audience? Are these people listening? I find Rush entertaining on a puffed-up blowhard level, sort of like a politically misdirected Chris Farley, so by all means blather on Rush.
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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Who's Mario Lopez?


In the seminal days of this blog, when things were going bad, I took some tough losses. My gallbladder went down and had to leave town, Johnny "he's dead to me" Damon signed with the evil empire and the BoSox jettisoned my boy, Bronson Arroyo to Cinci...but now the tide seems to be turning. The Sox have an opportunity to snag "Mad Dog Matsuzaka" (we'll work on the nickname), I've almost forgotten I had a gallbladder, that other guy is indeed dead to me and I can't tell you what hairstyle Bronson is sporting this fall. On to today's discharge...


Saw this article stating poppy production in Afghanistan is up 50% this year. We're spending $500 million tax dollars to erradicate the Afghanie drug trade and the problem is getting worse, much worse...and this was the first war we won in the "global war on terror".


On a totally unrelated note...I have to admit I never thought this "Dancing With Stars" thing would be a hit, particularly when they misuse the term "stars" to include Tucker Carlson, Monique Coleman and Mario "Saved by the Bell" Lopez. I guess America is just one voracious television watching machine. Unfortunately I couldn't break away from re-runs of "Bassmasters" to catch who won.
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Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Daisuke Matsuzaka

For a sum equal to the gross national product of Paraguay - the BoSox got their man. Will this end up a cautionary tale of over-hyped expectations, over-spending, and over reaching? We will find out. But, at the very least, the Sox brass has found a way to grab some headlines back from the Evil Empire and bring the warm glimmer of an optimistic spring training to the leafless New England landscape.

The new pet term at the White House regarding Iraq is, "that's a non-starter", a term usually used in reference to a "68" Buick LeSabre, last year's weed-wacker, or various pitchers working strictly out of the bullpen.

g

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

K-Fed nailed my woodchuck....

We've been on a serious landscaping binge up at the bunker. Trees, brush, excess calories... everything must be trimmed back and styled before winter. Get that deer away from the water lillies, get that woodchuck out of the woodpile...

Speaking of the woodpile...looks like the Democrats are settling in for a nice siege around the White House. The current battle will be nothing compared to Republican attacks on the Clinton presidency. I guess Bush can fall back on this quote when dealing with the exuberant Dems, "I'm a war president. I make decisions here in the Oval Office on foreign-policy matters with war on my mind...." The president's swagger has diminished in direct proportion to Republican losses in Congress...bar charts later....

On the gossip front it occurs to me that K-Fed would be a more sympathetic character if his look were just a little more Brad Pitt and a little less street corner weasel. The guy is seriously devoid of any redeeming traits either esthetically and intellectually ("intellectually" is not a word to be thrown about casually when around either K-Fed or Britney).

In the sports world...my N.E. Pats got whupped by the lowly Jets this week. Debilitating to say the least.

On a more positive sports note (I think), the Sox are rumored to be on the verge of winning negotiating rights to Daisuke Matsuzaka. It appears they only had to bid more than some teams entire payroll just to get the chance to negotiate with the guy. And I used to chide my Yankee locals with the slight, "checkbook baseball". What goes around comes around I guess. Just win baby...

g

Friday, November 10, 2006

Country Bumpkins...

When did country music become all about hair-dos and metrosexual Goo-Goo Dolls look-alike contests. Country pop is crap and affront to all things Country.

Saw Sasha Cohen do his Borat thing on Letterman and perform briefly with Beck. Beck seemed to really enjoy the whole deal...

Barb Boxer is taking over the chair of the Senate's Environmental Public Works Committee. The last guy in charge was cosmically deranged Senator Inhofe from Oklahoma who's best buddy is "Bridge to Nowhere" Senator Teddy Stevens R-Alaska. What a pair of old-school-pork-barrel-dickwads. Maybe Babs can get G.W. to acknowlege we have a little global warming problem....

Seems the GOP is upset at Rumsies bail job...way to support the party George...

Hope my Red Sox can pick up one of these Japanese export players just to be fashionable of course...

I hope George Steinbrenner's health holds out long enough for him to blowup the current Yankee ballclub which is looking quite formidable...

Did Rutgers just win a big football game?

Have a fully satiated weekend.
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Thursday, November 09, 2006

Rummy, Borat and Red...I miss you...

I miss you Donny Rumsfeld, I really do. Who else can I rely on to stay the course...no matter what...well maybe Dickie Cheney and he may be gone ahuntin' soon also.

I miss you K-Fed. Did Britney really drop the d-bomb on him in a text message? That really indicates some communication glitches in their formerly trailertrasherific relationship. I don't know about you but I haven't incorporated texting into my normal communication processes the way the younger generation has.

I'll miss you LOST. Saw where the show is off til February. Why do they do that?

I miss you George "Macaca" Allen. What happened to the man who would be president? The same issues of race that took him down in his Senate race could be a positive in a run for Prez, just look at what happened to Harold Ford in Tennessee.

I miss you Gary Sheffield. The Sheff, much to my dismay, is quickly making travel arrangements out of NYC. Who will now step up, or down, to display the "me first" attitude that helps make the Yanks clubhouse the utopia of ungrateful millionaires that we've come to expect? Perhaps Senor Randy Johnson or the quietly selfish Bobby Abreu...

I miss you Borat. Sasha Cohen is getting totally overexposed and the movie is funny but in no way a comedy classic. Soon Borat will be boring and Sasha will join the slag heap of serious comedians, Mike Myers, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray Jim Carrey, Dane Cook and the like, in the formerly funny fraternity.

I'll miss you classy Ed Bradley, though in recent years I've found 60 Minutes to be less and less relevant.

And most all... I'll miss that cranky, pontificator of the hardwood, Red Auerbach, a legend, an innovator and a champion.
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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

gosh, golly, gee....Britney


The Dem's have taken the House and probably the Senate, Don Rumsfeld has resigned, we'll have a woman Speaker of the House, Britney dumped K-Fed, there's a black governor in my old state of Taxachusetts, Arnold's back and I'm checking out the Borat flick later...whew!
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Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Election time is here...

Robo-calling is the latest RNC negative campaign trick. It's kind of clever, keep auto-dialing a prospective voter, under the guise of the opposition candidate, until the voter loses it and decides not to vote or votes for your guy.

Went to vote up in the hills and they had me in the wrong district...I prevailed and voted my concscience...even included Hillary in my largesse...but not Alan Hevesi...

Haven't seen Borat but the buzz is defening...


Didn't watch the CMA awards last night but did enjoy viewing Faith Hill's very Christian reaction to losing...


Get ready for that big Genesis reunion lp...what?

Beck's latest record keeps spinning on my Ipod...is he really a Scientologist?

Damn those Colts, they made my man Tom Brady look human...

Check out the Useless Men's (our renters) blog for the answer to one of my burning political questions...Seagal or Hasselhoff, who makes the best Presidential man-candy?

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Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunday Sermonette

Nice coincidence that Sadam guy getting sentenced to death a couple of days before the mid-term elections...


Harold Ford looks like that ad portraying him as a danger to nail a white woman has worked...he's down by 10 points...

Watched the Breeders Cup yesterday and even hit a couple of exactas, but the Pine Island tragedy cast a pall over the whole deal...

Gotta love that Rev Haggerty saying he was curious about "meth", so he bought a big pile of it and threw it away...maybe the lord spoke to him...
g

Friday, November 03, 2006

Burn in Hellfire List III


I smell someone burning...

The Rev. Ted Haggard, who until Thursday was President of the National Association of Evangelicals and advisor to the Bush Whitehouse, has resigned over allegations of gay sex, drug use and infidelity. The Rev says he's stepping down to do his own investigation...I guess of himself...hmmm...

The producers of Lost, who killed off the beloved Mr. Ecko (beloved for Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje's portrayal of another shirtless, malevolent character on HBO's OZ). Agbaje is the latest character to be killed off for a bad driving...Way to go producers...a great way to manage those story arcs...

Senator George Allen who is circulating an email smearing his opponent, decorated war hero Jim Webb with this gem: "First, it was the Catholic priests, then it was Mark Foley, and now Jim Webb, whose sleazy novels discuss sex between very young teenagers." Nice, concise and to the point...

John Kerry, who's comedic stylings are causing such a contrived uproar. Somehow I think the Bush administration's undermanning and under-equipping our troops in Iraq is more of an insult to our armed forces than some Ivy League dipstick's bad joke...I guess that's just me....

Puff Diddy - wants to eventually play the black James Bond...please go away...Diddy you're starting to combust...

Brad Pitt - posed shirtless in his skivies and doesn't want the photo on the cover of Vanity Fair - come on Brad you dropped the trow now take the bow...

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Thursday, November 02, 2006

Template, shemplate...

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THIS POST HAS BEEN REMOVED BY MANAGEMENT - only the dog remains
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Useless


Please click on my useless renters, the inimitable, Useless Advice From Useless Men. As purveyors of all that is vacant they have managed to create a blog that captures everything that makes the blogosphere so very useless. Their thumbnail lies in the sidebar, as if you didn't know.

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