All Hasselhoff All the Time

This is possibly the most appalling use of green screen and stock footage in a music video since 1983 (or maybe it was made in 1983), but I find it bizarrely uplifting and I am now putting it up for review once again on the "Collar"...plus it may get Google to change the Wiccan ads on my blog and replace them with the real devil's spawn (Hasselhoff).
Hasselhoff "Hooked on a Feelin"
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Google Adsense: Funky or Frightening?

I kinda dig the way Google's AdSense places ads on the "Collar". I now have a complete set of witchcraft related ads because of my Wiccan post of a couple of days ago. I was loaded with Dick Cheney for president stuff when I bashed him and I get lots of Red Sox or Yankees ads when I mention them (go Sox). I think I'll probably rake in $3.97 this month in ad sales but the experiment with "big brother" is worth a lot more. I wonder why I didn't get any Pat Robertson ads... but I had good success with my "Kenny Chesney is a fancy-boy", blog prompting a series of ads...good stuff.
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Emails From Jesus

Hear what Jesus has to say at our new renter's blog, "Emails From Jesus".

Missives From the Bunker

In a testament to the total lack of viable political candidates, Jeb Bush is being touted as future presidential material. The porky bro of G.W. is not all that popular in his home state of Florida, so how that translates to a national presence is questionable. If you want to set a low voter turnout record have Jeb and Hilary face off in the least compelling presidential election of all time...

Just as various clowns and crooks are being passed off as possible presidents it's revealed that VNR's, or Video News Releases, produced by the U.S. government and private corporations like Pfizer have been passed off as real news and broadcast on network television. This isn't suprising since it's the goal of every Public Relations company. The FCC is very slow to investigate because they have been intentionally looking the other way while distracting the American public with high-profile fines and campaigns against insignificant quasi-entertainers like Howard Stern, because he said "poop" or "pussy".

...and oh, by the way, the Iraqui army is really becoming a force to reconned with...right...watch what they're selling you.
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Wiccan Symbol

Figured we'd go with a Memorial Day theme here...Seems the family of Sgt. Patrick Stewart, killed serving his country in Afganistan and awarded a Bronze Star and Purple Heart wants to put the Wiccan symbol on his memorial. Soldiers are allowed to place symbols representing their religious beliefs on headstones and memorials. The Wiccan request threw the Veterans Administration for a loop...

Have no problem with the pagan aspects of Wicca which is based on respect for the earth, seasons and natural cycles. Religious freedom baby!
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Pat Robertson Proud Man...

Pat Roberstson claims that he leg-pressed 2000 pounds at age 73. Sometimes you have to ask yourself why those who profess to be closest to the good Lord are the most lying, cheating, self-righteous (to quote William S. Burroughs) sons of bitches. You just can't trust em'. Pride is a sin Pat, go sell some of your "Power Drink" and predict some natural disaster..oh I mean wish one on someone you don't agree with...in Christian love of course.
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Thursday's Notes

Just read some of the comments John McCain made at a private event at the Regency Hotel in NYC which harkened back to the McCain of old. He spoke of his desire to tell the Shite and Sunni's to "stop the bullshit", accused fellow Republicans of "nativism" and questioned the Bush administration's honesty regarding Iraq. Maybe I shouldn't give up on him as a presidential candidate just yet (especially after considering his competition).

Saw "An Inconvenient Truth". May not be "Good Fellas" but it states what should be the obvious about global warming in a watchable fashion.




Lost finale was a muddled disappointment. Feels like they just put some junk in blender and then pick the plot lines they like at the moment. Confusion should not be construed as cohesive thought. Classic TV like "Twin Peaks" defied logic but had a surreal appeal, Lost doesn't have that shimmering coat of eccentric genius of a David Lynch, you can see the strings being pulled by the hack writers.

Yanks kicked the Sox in the nuts last night or more like the Sox kicked themselves in the privates...either case, I'm still having trouble taking a leak.

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Country Music Awards

Just watched a couple of minutes of the CMA's. Got a glimpse of a boatload of guys with big hair held together by way too much hairspray, perfect little cowboy hats, lots of tight jeans and velvet jackets, all in all, too many stylists worked this working-man's music gig. Are they all gay or are they channeling a little too much Liberace?

Personally I'm just waiting for "Brokeback Mountain The Musical" to hit Broadway starring Kenny Chesney and Keith Urban. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
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China...Wal-Mart...and YOU- Rant Alert

When is America going to wise up and stop buying crap from China at retail landfills like Wal-Mart, with each purchase taking us one step closer to our ultimate demise? China is upgrading their military capabilities to kick them up to a global menace as opposed just a regional power. Not content with bullying Taiwan and Japan, China has the will and resources to dominate on a global scale. Americans have to sacrifice cheap consumer goods and low prices for domestic security. China supports regimes in both North Korea and Iran that threaten the global community, not because of some ideological connection, but for strategic reasons. Until the American public comes to the conclusion that the China-US trade deficit is one of our greatest enemies, we'll remain on the fast track to becoming a second-rate power.
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Madonna...Big Papi and The Da Vinci Code

Sox win (beat Yanks 9-5...sweet) and Big Papi drives in a couple of runs and points skyward to thank the lord. Madonna climbs up on a giant crucifix during her latest concert prompting the Catholic Church to protest her hijinks. Does Papi think God is involved with every home run he hits and what about those ground outs? Madonna always throws a bunch of stuff at her audience to get headlines as she kicks off a tour knocking the likes of baby-dropping Brittany out of the tabloids to sell some more tix. The good lord is everywhere and everybody is cashing in. The Da Vinci Code has people thinking the movie has some connection to reality and is an affront to the scriptures. Every protest makes money on both sides.

I remember when hard working Catholics gave the church a disproportionate chunk of change on Sunday and worked hard the rest of the week in peace, pay to play...oh for the good old days. Ralph Kramden never praised the lord. "To the moon Alice..."
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Barbaro, World Party, and bloat

Went up to the bunker for a wet fall-type weekend with old friends. Lot of overeating and some light imbiding going on.

Saturday pm, I (and the other 17 horseracing fans in this country) tuned in to watch and wager both cash and emotional currency on the great thoroughbred, Barbaro's, pursuit of the Triple Crown in the Preakness Stakes. Tragedy struck as the Kentucky Derby winner pulled up with an injured hind leg in visually upsetting sequence that effectively put a damper on any and all festivities that were on-going. I can only hope the horse, who has been given a 50/50 chance for survival, recovers and heads for the breeding shed...

Churning through our Ipods on the stereo to find some musical relief, my fishing buddy intro'd a band whose cd he had just imported from England, . When he mentioned the name, World Party, it sounded really familiar. The ensuing listening session revealed a band of many polished approaches and influences (admittedly some of those influences may be a little too apparent at times) from Dylan to Mick Jagger to Neil Young and a little R&B thrown in for good measure. All in all, a good band with a lefto political stance and a polished, highly listenable style (think a rockier version of Jamiroquai). I was curious as to the origins of this band, so a little research turns up the fact that this the same World Party that churned out 80's hits like my personal fav "Ship of Fools" (I vaguely remember the video). Nice to do some muscial time travel with friends on a rainy weekend. Now if I could just get my mind off that disturbing image of Barbaro (not to mention my c-note) pulling up.
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Weekend Update

Heading to the bunker for golf, grilling and gardening. Gardening you say? Do real men garden? I think the best way for me to rationalize this "man gardening" behavior is to look upon it as a competitive battle against nature employing all the machismo and man-qualities acquired by me in every day survival, as opposed to an aesthetic endeavor utilizing all those fuzzy woman-qualities like beauty, color coordination and other left brain stuff. Eradicating weeds, various pests, (we don't talk about what happened to that woodchuck) and battling the environment allows me to use the word "eradicate" which is a great guy word and implies fortitude and some man-behavior. With that said, I am jumping into the car to exhibit a modicum of roadrage while heading for the bucolic confines of my country estate. Now... if that guy on the ATV rides by my driveway one more time...
Peace out,
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Entertainment Tonight Bites the Bag

An unnamed individual just made me sit through about fifteen minutes of Entertainment Tonight. Mary Hart, looking like a warmed over cadaver with a glandular problem, was reporting from Cannes hyping the star-studded premiere of "The Da Vinci Code". Mary stood on a pier with the beach as a backdrop, without benefit of studio lighting, reading a prompter with all the comprehension of a guy on life support plodding her way through her well rehearsed series of hand motions and vocal inflections, she could be selling cars, condoms, or Tom Hanks...doesn't matter. Well according to Mary the movie is fabulous, the event was massively splendid and we should all fight and claw to get tickets to the first possible screening of the overwrought opus. I got up from the old sofa disgusted at what I had just endured. I think I'll wait a good long while before catching the film.
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Sir Paul McCartney...

Why is it that we wee, little people can look at an impending car crash of a celebrity wedding like Sir Paul McCartney's and say, "that marriage will never work" and nine times out of ten we are right, while the billionaire involved gets stuck with the bill? The "new Yoko" doesn't have the depth and celebrity class of the 'old Yoko". The "old Yoko" has great lawyers, a mean streak and can really hold a grudge, while dear Heather has only a toothy English smile, 1.5 legs and a compulsion to hobble to the next photo op as quickly as she can. Now, be that as it may, Heather gets the best of all possible results, she has her own fame and notoriety, she has $300 million of Paul's cash and she can do the talk show circuit on her upcoming "I Married a Beatle" book tour (we know it's coming). So now I can sit back and say "I told you so.", and bemoan that conviving trollop's $300 million windfall. At least Anna Nicole Smith waited for her ancient marrier to pass away before she got paid for services rendered.
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Golf

Played golf seriously for the first time today and hit triple digits, lost some balls and had a good time. It was good to be outside even if the scoreboard said otherwise. The Van Cortlandt course soaked up most of the recent rain and was green and lush.
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Golf at Van Cortlandt Park

Tomorrow morning before the squirrels arise (6:22) I will be teeing off on the nations oldest public golf course, Van Cortlandt Golf Course. I've played the course once before and it is a beauty for an urban (da Bronx) municipal course. Since my gallbladder removal surgery I am just rounding into shape to play my usual version of scramblingman's golf. I've only played 9 holes this spring at an upstate course, so I will definitely suck. My buddy loves to play as early as possible and is leading the expedition. Hope I don't need night-vision goggles to find my ball.

Wish me luck.
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Matsui

The other day Hideki Matsui did something no American ballplayer would probably do, after breaking his wrist attempting a diving, sliding catch, he took the time to apologize to the Yankees and their fans for hurting himself while hustling. Contrast that with Gary Sheffield who, more or less, put himself on the disabled list due to a pulled contract extension and you have today's baseball, good and bad. Throw in ESPN interupting games to cut-to Barry Bonds persuit of his juiced-up home run record (primarily because he has a show on their network) and you have the cherry on top of Major League Baseball's stale, little party cake.
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Rain, golf, Axl Rose and Laura Bush...

Rained this weekend in the northeast and as I understand the storm washed away most of New England...just kidding, have to get a report from the remains of my family up there. At my bunker in the Catskills it was soggy but ripe for outdoor activities. Hit the mountain golf course (term used with much latitude) and sprayed to ball all over the place scaring man and beast alike.

See that Axl Rose and the new Guns and Roses (another oxymoron) played Hammerstein Ballroom. I seem to remember when G&R was "the" 80's band. Somehow Axl channeled the worst of Michael Jackson and became a running joke...I don't think we need him back.

Laura Bush stated in a Fox interview (on Fox you the interview subject brings the questions) that she doesn't believe polls showing G.W.'s approval ratings are hitting Spiro Agnew country. Just another symptom of the disease.
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Keith Richards, Barbaro and Barry Bonds...

Looks like Keith Richards is on the mend from falling on his coconut while picking some of the same.

I haven't posted anything on one of my favorite topics, horse racing. The upcoming Preakness (Saturday) will allow me to exercise my right to once again lose money on the sport of champions. In the Derby I put Barbaro in exotic bets with every horse but the eventual runner-up, Blue Grass Cat, and then bypassed the obvious opportunity to bet Barbaro (my heavy choice to win) across-the-board...rationale he was a favorite...albeit at a sweet 7-1.

Everyone is jumping into the "Barry controversy". Is it racist...is it fair to the Babe and Henry Aaron...are steroids un-American? I don't know what baseball can do retroactively when they neglected to make steroids a violation of their drug policy prior to last year. Retroactive justice is indeed un-American. (note: I am no fan of the Barry)
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Google Trends - Beatles vs. Stones/Bush vs. Colbert and more...

Just got hip to the new Google Trends feature and decided to check it out. Here are some of my preliminary findings:

Red Sox vs. Yankees

John McCain vs. Hillary Clinton

American Idol vs. Survivor

Lindsay Lohan vs. Jessica Simpson

Stephen Colbert vs. George Bush

Beatles vs. Rolling Stones

Tony Snow, Hideki Matsui and other injuries...

On the Washington scene former Fox attack dog, Tony "Foxie Lady" Snow, is taking shots at various "liberal" news outlets. This behavior had to be anticipated when the President chose the loudmouth Fox newsman to patrol the press room.

Ironically this next item comes from Fox News...Universal is being fined $12 million Buckeroo Banzai's for its payola practices, including, rigging the voting on that other corruptor of teens MTV's horrible TRL to promote crappy musical acts like Lindsay Lohan.

On a more sobering note...the Yanks lost to the Sox last night, 5-3, but the greater loss was the injury to Hideki Matsui's wrist, an injury that could have implications for the rest of the season. I think I'm getting a little weepy...Sox in first, Yanks with injuries (Gary Sheffield hurt his contract) and Wily Mo Pena is dancing in centerfield at Fenway this weekend...oh for the arts I breath!
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Red Sox - Yankees

Tonight's deathmatch betwix the Sox and the Yanks has yet to grab my imagination, perhaps I need to call my mother-in-law and have her talk some positive trash about her beloved Yanks to get my blood flowing.
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weekend update

Blue Grass Cat took me out in the Derby. We totally ignored the Todd Pletcher entry and got burned bigtime. Lesson learned...when you like the favorite (Barbaro) bet him big and augment with lesser horses in the exotics. On a positive note, both the Red Soxs and the Yanks are on winning streaks as the prepare to face-off in the Big Apple this week in what should be an exciting baseball hatefest. Weather in the hills was very nice as the "Boss" and I entertained her mom, who shared the dispair (and $$ losses) of the Derby Day Debacle. If my health keeps improving I may soon lose my Nom de Plume, Bladderboy.

Onward and upward,
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Testicular Fortitude, Doug Mirabelli and more...

Nuggets of neurological activity....

Red Sox redemption...Sox throttle Yanks 7-3 and my latent Sox paranoia is receding like my hairline...and back-up catcher Doug Mirabelli is back...sweet

What's up with the immigration movement? Changing the words to the National Athem...don't they know Bill O'Reilly is going to just hate this...bad strategic move for the movement.

What's the deal with Bolivia? While I was focused elsewhere they have become little Havana and are trying to shake-down mult-national oil companies and nationalize their oil production. Another problemo for our oil consuming economy and in our hemispere and I mean "our"...

Apple just signed new contracts with the record labels to keep selling Itunes for .99. This being viewed as a defeat for the record co's...a defeat is me logging in to Limewire and downloading all the Englebert Humperdink my harddrive can hold...

This Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska has always been a pain in my ass...it started with him supporting shooting wolves from helicopters, his support of drilling for oil in protected national wildlife sanctuaries is just wrong and he's also the guy who stuck some pork in the Highway Bill to construct a $250 million dollar bridge to connect an isand of about 50 people to mainland Alaska to save them taking a 10 minute ferry...now the wacko Senior Senator is backing a horrible Television bill he's trying to sneak under the radar that would let cable t.v. companies gouge consumers with impunity and let Congress and the FCC control broadcast and digital product development...

I'm spent.
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I've Been to the Bunker

Been away for the weekend and noticed a couple of things:
(1) the Red Sox are now in second place and face the Yankeroos at Fenway tonight
(2) immigrants are going on strike today.
I find the whole immigrant strike concept a little confusing, it will be interesting to note if I can see any impact here in NYC. In suburbia, homeowners will not feel the real impact of the strike, which would occur with a longer work stoppage, as plastic lawn ornaments and birdbaths would disappear into the wilderness that was their lawns if lawncare professionals took a longer hiatus...
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